Category Archives: yoga

Let go.

Leave a reply

Dear kind and gentle reader,

I have been in a funk all day, generally fussy, frustrated and foggy. It actually started yesterday.  I was sad about Steve Jobs, but it was a tender and raw sad that made me recommit to having a life that was whole and real.  Then I remembered that Saturday, tomorrow, is my friend Kelly’s birthday.  She passed away on May 14, 2010, and I spend every day missing her, but again this is a sadness that, though deeper than the other, fuels my desire to live a better life, to not give up.

Then I got some family news that I won’t share here, but I’ll just say that we must remember that even when we can’t keep someone we love safe, when we can’t help them and they don’t seem to want or be able to help themselves, when we have trouble dealing with the worry and stress and anger, we MUST remember to take care of ourselves.

And then, this morning, an email from Brave Girls Club. It was all about letting go, “Your heart and your gut know exactly what you need to let go of, even if your brain is giving you all sorts of reasons to clamp your fingers around it.”  Last week’s theme in my Mondo Beyondo class was about creating a clearing, “a gap, a wide open empty space for your dreams to find their way in,” “a wide open empty space in your life that is ready for something new or amazing to emerge.” I started thinking about all the things I’ve been forced to let go, needed to let go, let go because there was no other option, and all of the things I probably should let go of, still need to clear out. *sigh*

Then I saw an article in the local paper about one of my yoga buddies.  We’ve been practicing together for over four years, and I knew she’d had breast cancer, was still dealing with cancer related issues, but I had no idea how bad her cancer really is: “Now, it’s in my bones. It’s in all the lobes of my lungs. It’s in my lymph nodes.”  I am still in shock.  We practiced together this morning and stayed and talked for a bit after, about the article, about her cancer, about her life.  She kicks my butt every yoga class, does things I can’t, and always makes me laugh.  That voice inside my head, the one that started when Obi was diagnosed, then Kelly, and then when Obi died, followed by Kelly, starts to sob again “but it’s not fair!”

I am humbled, confused, sad, angry, broken, messy, and so tired.  I am not giving up, and I still am so in love with all of it, but…sometimes it’s just so hard.  Do you know what I mean?

This video is one of my favorite singer/songwriters, Rosie Thomas: “Kite Song.” I dedicate it to all of us who are trying so hard to hold on, so hard to let go. I wish all of us some peace.

Oh, tie me to the end of a kite
So I can go on, I can go on with my life
Every marigold I pass below will be my guiding light
I just want to go away from here

Oh, tie me to the end of a kite
So I can go on, I can go on with my life
Every time the wind blows stronger,
I will feel my spirit rise
I just want to go away from here

Oh, tie me up tightly by your side
So I may go with you where ever you reside
And anytime the road looks dimmer
I will be your guiding light
I just want to go away with you

  • It will be hard, but it will also be okay.  Take a deep breath and let it out, let it go.

There is so much good.

Leave a reply

Today is the second day of Blogtoberfest 2011.  This is a festival started in 2009 by Cathy, or {tinniegirl}, a blogger from Australia.  The way she describes it is that:

By signing up you are taking on the challenge to post daily to your blog in October.blogtoberfestI like to think that Blogtoberfest is a celebration of the best things about blogging – self expression, creativity, community and fun.  It’s also a great way to celebrate the ordinary and every day.

Even though I have been posting to this blog almost every day, I like the idea of committing to do so with a group of like minded people. There is power in groups, in community, especially when that group is committed to all the good things: self expression, creativity, community and fun.

Then next month is “National Novel Writing Month.” I might have to call this the “Fall of Writing,” not to be confused with the “fall of writing.”  This ambition, this new found…what do I call it?  I need a word that means the opposite of stuck.

One friend who is a yoga teacher and another who is an Ayurvedic practitioner, both told me recently that the equinox could in part explain the energy I am feeling.  The equinox (which happened on September 23rd) has an equal amount of day and night, light and dark.  It’s a time of change and balance, transition and upset, contraction and expansion.

One reminded me to be careful of “shiny monkey mind,” and to not confuse excitement with happiness.  She said that this epoch or the period of time we are in now, which started around 1987, was said by prophecy of Tibetan Monks to be “the age of levitation.”  It was said that during this time, 50% of humans will go insane and 50% will become much more enlightened. These are our choices: crazy or enlightened.  Stuck or levitating.  

As I consider all of this, I think about how we have a choice.  We always have a choice of manifesting light or seeking the darkness. And right now, there are good things happening, people doing good, even great work, in both big and small ways.  There is a whole tribe of people who can be found on the internet who are working, individually but also as a collective, towards empowering others, moving through their own fear so that others can see the way and follow.  Their single shared value is compassion.

For example, the End Malaria Day project.

Or, Karen Armstrong and her work with the “Charter for Compassion.”

Or, the “Link with Love” project, whose hope is “that art, music, photography, words, design, ideas, etc – be shared in a way that is respectful, educated and kind.” Or Brene’ Brown’s Free-Range Social Media Project.

Or the Girl Effect Project, and the related October 4th Blogger event.

And that’s just the short list.  Given a few hours, I could find hundreds more.  And the best news is that we are all invited! It’s a huge love fest, and every one is allowed to join in.  Do something good for yourself.  Do something nice for someone else.  Say “thank you.”  Say “I love you.” Say “Oh!  Look at that.  Isn’t it amazing?”  Close your eyes.  Take three deep breaths.  Be kind.

  • Are you with me?