Uncategorized | Open Space Practice, (AKA: A Thousand Shades of Gray)

1. Morning walks. Still getting a mix of dark and light. Because we got snow this week, the sky was extra special. We met an eight month old Malamute/Husky mix on one of our walks. She had so much energy and was so soft. We didn’t see many animals, except the ducks and geese and a heron flying overhead, but apparently there’s a flock of wild turkeys roaming the park.

2. Winter. The energy is a good match for this particular moment in time, for me — the pull to hunker down, get comfortable, stay home, hibernate, eat good food, cuddle, sleep, read.

3. Practice. Steady, stable, constant, routine, comforting.

4. Warmth. In particular the heat generated by the oven and dryer, a warm shower, a hot cup of coffee, down blankets, infrared heating pad, saunas, how warm my doctor’s hands were (so warm, I asked if her stethoscope was heated), cuddling with Ringo, hugging Eric, “I love you.”

5. My tiny family. When a doctor friend said we might have to stay careful as we have until March, which would mean a full year of living like this, I wasn’t completely disappointed because it means getting even more time where it’s just the three of us, and that just so happens to be my favorite thing.

Bonus joy: good TV (The Queen’s Gambit streaming on Netflix and the last two episodes with America Ferrera on Superstore), good podcasts (in particular Do You Need a Ride, My Favorite Murder, and Working it Out), good books (I love Chuck Wendig’s writing on his blog, Terrible Minds, but I’ve never read any of his books, I’m reading his Wanderers because all I’m reading right now is dystopian fiction, and it’s really good, and Ocean Vaughn’s On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous was beautiful and heartbreaking), broccoli slaw, texting with people I love, Zoom so I can see their faces, an email from one of my yoga students telling me the reasons why practice with other teachers just isn’t the same, my primary care physician who is caring and funny and smart, the people at the lab who stayed patient even though people were being jerks, roasted vegetables, grilled cheese sandwiches, gummy vitamins, vaccines, all the people making an effort to make things better even when it puts them at risk.

1. Morning walks. With the time change, we’ll have a few weeks of light in the early early morning again. The day it would have been muddy, the ground was still frozen, and later in the week when it was warmer things had dried up, so we got to go by the river and around the ponds. I was telling someone again this week that it’s not a punishment to walk so early; I actually love it. It’s quiet, not too many people out, and we get to see more animals and the sunrise.

2. Practice. Waiting for the election results has been hard, to want something so much but also know you have to prepare yourself for not getting what you want and having to wade through everyone else’s opinions and perspectives to get to some sort of truth, especially when some of them are triggering, requires a particular kind of effort. I am so grateful that I practice even when things are good so that I’m prepared when it’s hard and I really need the stability and kindness and strength practice provides.

3. Pool, sauna, and massage. A few months in to the pandemic, when it became clear that this would be an ongoing challenge, I had to make some decisions about what things I needed to maintain my wellness in the long run even though they presented some risk in the short term. These are the three things I couldn’t do at home, couldn’t do for myself, but were necessary for me to stay strong, to access some necessary ease for my physical body. I’m so grateful for the way they are supporting me.

4. Comfort food. Eric made potato, corn, smoked salmon pot pie and an apple pie on Sunday. Other go-to comfort foods during the pandemic have been Frito’s, Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips, onion buns, big salads, apples, and pancakes.

5. My tiny family. Eric has been going to his office on campus to work more often. That combined with Sam being gone means that Ringo is looking to me more for love and attention, and I am so happy about that. Cattle Dogs are notorious for selecting one person as “their” person and sticking to them like glue. For Ringo, that person is Eric, and that’s always made me a bit sad, even though I get it, Eric is more fun — he goes hiking and running and plays in the backyard when all I want to do is walk and hang out on the couch and cuddle. When Sam was here, I was his person, so I’ve felt a bit lonely and appreciate that Ringo is helping me with that. There’s still no one I’d rather stay home with than these two.

“Dad, I love running with you but it’s too hot out here.”

Bonus joy: Wild Writing with Laurie, writing and hanging out with Mikalina, giggle fest with Chloe’ and Mikalina, texting with my mom and brother, taking bags of Halloween candy to our neighbor kids, the cute thank you card one of them made, choosing to take care of myself on a day when doing so was hard, dystopian fiction, shows about murder, Eric and Ringo playing in the backyard, how happy Ringo is to have stuffed squeaky toys, podcasts, movies, poetry, being retired, pay day, having my car paid off, getting the snow tires on my car, a random surprise voice message of a friend singing to me, laughing with Eric, the weekend, reading in bed at night while Eric and Ringo sleep.