Category Archives: Sam

Gratitude Friday

baby blackberries

This post is a mashup of The Little Bliss List and Joy Jam, and as such is meant to celebrate: the little things that brought me hope and happiness this week, the sweet stuff of life, those small gifts that brought me joy this week. By sharing them, I not only make public my gratitude, but maybe also help you notice your own good stuff and send some positive energy out into the world.

1. Depoe Baykery. I love baked things: bread, donuts, cake, pie, cookies. In fact, I kind of wish I didn’t love them quite so much. I think it has something to with my German DNA, because I love all things potato as well. White, doughy and starchy, chewy and a little sweet makes my mouth happy. And here on the coast, I have discovered the most wonderful little bakery.

First contact was a maple bar bought from their stall at the Waldport Wednesday Market, (second to baked things and fresh produce, my favorite is maple: maple bars, maple nut ice cream, maple syrup). I fell instantly in love. And then the next week, I had one of their coconut macaroons, and it was over. They are made out of coconut, butter and sugar, with a splash of heaven or pure evil, I haven’t made up my mind which, and each one is as big as your face. And if that weren’t already enough to kill me, they fill their bear claws with Marionberry! I haven’t decided if it’s good or bad that you can order their cookies online and have them shipped to you.

I wish you could somehow smell them: a chocolate chew and coconut macaroons

2. Fresh produce. I am still obsessed, hitting three farmer’s markets per week. My current obsessions are raspberries and cucumbers.

3. Coming home after being away. I had a great time at the World Domination Summit, but I sure missed my boys. In those first moments back, I remember how lucky I am and I feel so grateful for all the love and comfort that is mine, to be missed and loved as much right back. My dogs spent the whole rest of that first day following me everywhere, sticking with me like two Velcro dogs, and I loved it.

4. Long walks on the beach. This morning, we were out for three hours: walking, playing, chasing birds (that was Sam, not the rest of us, the Lab/Border Collie mix just can’t help herding the birds), collecting shells and rocks, taking pictures, listening to the rhythm of the waves. I am trying to enjoy this time, rather than think about how much I am going to miss it, but as our vacation winds down, it’s hard not to feel a little sadness.

the view this morning

5. Reconnecting with old friends and meeting new ones. There are people in this world who have their hearts wide open, who are kind and generous and amazing, who see you, really get you, make you laugh, comfort you, encourage you, whose bravery makes you feel safe and braver yourself. I got to hang out with a lot of them this week, and it was bliss. I also am aware that “the rest” have the same potential, even if they haven’t quite got it together just yet.

Bonus Joy: Routine. I like having the comfort, the certainty of a routine, even when I’m on vacation. We realized the other night that after coming to Waldport for the past ten years, we have that here: we walk and hike the same places, have a set schedule, go to the same markets and shops, eat at the same restaurants. I am very much a person who would rather sink deeper into a place, into a practice, into a relationship, into myself, than seek out something new or different. I know that for some of you, that would seem like some kind of torture, too boring for life, but for me it’s complete happiness.

Three Truths and One Wish

1. Truth: There are places you carry inside, no matter where you go. You feel the temperature and the texture, experience the smell and the sound of these locations, see the colors and shapes of the environment, know the size and mood of the space, real and present in memory and dreams.

For me, some of these places are Amsterdam, my childhood home (not just the house, but the whole town–my church, my school, the field at the end of the road where I lived, the local market, post office, the park, my best friend’s backyard), my grandma’s farm, the cannery I worked in for four summers in a row while I was in high school (trust me, I wish I could rid myself of that one!), my little house in Colorado, the basement of that other house which was the first place Eric and I lived together, and the long stretch of beach from Waldport Bay to Seal Rock.


2. Truth: There are mortal beings that you keep in your heart no matter where you go and even when they are gone. These are the ones who’ve taken up residence in your heart, who you have long, heartfelt, silent conversations with regardless of your physical proximity. You dream about them, long for them, miss them, imagine where they might be, what they might be doing right now when they aren’t with you. And when they become formless, no longer attached to a body, you keep them in your heart, your body, hold them with you, carrying their memory, their love, a precious and wild thing that lives in and through you.

3. Truth: There are practices that will follow you, no matter where you find yourself. These are the things, the habits and the methods that you rely on, that you turn to, that you engage in. These can be helpful and healthy, traditions that sustain you, maintain your sanity and comfort, but they can also be destructive, trapping you in your confusion and suffering. Yesterday I wrote, did yoga, ran with Sam on the beach, meditated, read, and took a long walk with all three of my boys, carrying my camera so I could stop and take pictures of what I noticed, what touched me. These practices are magic, medicine. It wasn’t so long ago that my habitual patterns had a much different flavor, a quality of despair and character of destruction. My teacher, Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche says, “We are always meditating–constantly placing our minds on an object and becoming familiar with it. But are we getting used to things that will take us forward on the path?”

One wish: That we can practice gentle and kind awareness, that we can view everything we encounter and experience as an opportunity to cultivate a way of being that generates compassion and wisdom, and that we can let go of any habitual patterns that cause suffering.