Category Archives: Obi

D is for Dog

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The simplest definition I can come up with for spiritual practice is something you do mindfully and wholeheartedly on a regular basis, preferably every day, and through this devotion, this repetition and experience, you learn and evolve, and as it is spiritual, you also connect with God (the Universe, your Buddha-Nature, Mystery, the Great Spirit, etc.)–however you might define that for yourself.

My primary practices are:

  • Word–reading or listening and writing, especially writing
  • Yoga–while this primarily is asana (what people typically think of when you say “yoga”), it can also include yogic breathing, mindful eating, study, and service
  • Meditation–this includes working with mantra, chanting, visualization and contemplation, as well as sitting, shamatha style meditation
  • Dog–this post will attempt to explain

That last one might seem out of place, more so to someone who has never had a dog, but for me, it is every bit as essential and spiritual as the other three.

Practicing word gives me a voice, allows me to express and communicate and understand my experience.

Yoga connects me to my body, helps me align my mind with it in the present moment, to embody the manifestation of what I learn.

Meditation is similar, but is more focused on training my mind, enabling me to connect with reality, to finally arrive at the place I was already, to realize that where I was trying so hard to get is here. Meditation connects me with my basic goodness, an innate wisdom and compassion that are always available.

Dog is all about training my heart. It is about the devotion it takes to build a relationship, friendship and trust, to bond with a being that does not speak, doesn’t think like we do, and yet most certainly feels, experiences suffering and joy, just like we do. It’s about being entrusted with another life, to tend and care for as long as it exists, as best as you possibly can. It’s about loving with your whole heart even though eventual grief and loss are a guarantee.

My dogs have been some of my greatest teachers.

From Obi, I learned to be less afraid, the importance of friends, resilience and strength, to live and love with my whole heart, to face death and to let go.

From Dexter, so far I’ve learned to relax, that happiness is simple, the importance of play and work (and that maybe they are the same thing), to insist that others respect my boundaries, tenacity and determination, and that healing is possible because the love never ends.

From Sam, I am learning surrender, letting go of control, the importance of staying calm, patience, appreciation for enthusiasm, the healing properties of love, that there will always be another dog, and that in this moment, right now, there is no problem.

And Muffin, the first dog I ever loved, who wasn’t actually “mine,” the canine point of origin for my life-long love of dogs taught me that no matter how far apart you are, and no matter how long you might be separated, and even if you never see each other again, the love remains and you will never forget.

Three Truths and One Wish

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1. Truth: Impermanence. I am currently taking a class at the Fort Collins Shambhala Meditation Center, Fearlessness in Everyday Life. In the first few weeks we have been contemplating what many great teachers have called the essence of the dharma (“truth”): that everything changes, nothing stays the same–also known as impermanence.

I couldn’t attend Thursday night’s class because I was doing an independent study of sorts, saying goodbye to a being I love very much, being with him when he went, contemplating and being with the reality that death and change are real and reliable. Death and loss will happen, we can count on it.

obi and rocky, both gone now

We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy. ~Pema Chödrön

2. Truth: Being with reality–what is, as it is–is freedom. In the ways that we reject what we don’t want or attempt to cling to what we do, judging and refusing that which is “bad” and attempting to make the “good” somehow permanent, we generate pain. Our refusal to be with things as they are is at the root of all our suffering. In our denial and in our attachment, we cause harm. Our avoidance, our habitual, stuck, discursive ways of covering over the truth keep us stuck, confused and afraid.

There’s a Robin that’s been on the fence between my house and my neighbor’s for the past few days. It runs up and down the fence, intermittently throwing itself at its own reflection in a window. At first, I assumed the bird viewed the other bird as a threat, and chose to fight it. Then I remembered it’s their mating season, and thought maybe the bird thought its own reflection was a possible mate. Either way, whether the bird was showing aggression or attempting to connect, its fundamental confusion caused it to throw itself at the window repeatedly, to cause harm and generate frustration and pain, potentially smashing itself to bits. Even when my neighbor opened her window so it could no longer see its reflection, it shifted its focus to a window on the side of my house, continuing the process.

have courage, little bird

The most fundamental aggression to ourselves, the most fundamental harm we can do to ourselves, is to remain ignorant by not having the courage and the respect to look at ourselves honestly and gently. ~Pema Chödrön, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times

3. Truth: The antidote, the medicine is gentleness. Being with things as they are and not as we want them to be provokes fear. The inevitable nature of loss and change and death can cause us to come unhinged, unravelled, wrecked and broken. “Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth,” (Pema Chödrön). Being with reality and our fear uncovers things we usually avoid, reject, or hide. The way to deal with this, to work with fear, is by being friendly with ourselves, being gentle. This is non-aggression. This is truth. This is the way to freedom.

One wish: That you have supreme confidence in the one and only thing that won’t change, your fundamental, basic, inherent, innate, unconditional goodness, your wisdom and compassion, that you remember and awaken to this, the light of your true nature.