1. Ringo. I’m just so grateful he’s recovering, has his spunk back. This morning I was listening to a meditation that used bilateral sound (a technique for nervous system regulation), which means you need to use headphones. I was sitting with my eyes closed when I felt warm breath on my face and then got a kiss on my chin — Ringo had come in to check on me. It’s the tiniest of moments that make all the hard ones bearable. It’s a sort of math that makes absolutely no sense, and I’m so grateful for it.

2. Feeding myself. I’m not as good at this as I’d like to be, especially early in the day, anything before lunchtime really. If you somehow missed it, I had two or three active eating disorders that started when I was about 14 years old and that I finally started therapy for about nine years ago, (yes, that’s about 40 years of disordered eating). I’m not sure I’ll ever be truly “recovered” but with a lot of therapy, support, and practice, I’m learning how to take better care of myself.

2. Morning walks, even the ones that happen in the afternoon. Most of the gold is gone now, but it’s still gorgeous out there.

4. Practice. Meditation in particular recently has been such a help, keeping me grounded and here.

5. My tiny family, tiny home, tiny life. It doesn’t matter what else happens, as long as I have this. 

Bonus joy: the three hour nap I took yesterday which I obviously really needed, Wild Writing with Laurie and my Friday morning writing sangha, making art with Janice, texting with Chloe’, sunshine on a cold day, Eric and Ringo lounging in the backyard or on the couch together, hormone replacement therapy, anti-anxiety meds, vaccines, having easily accessible videos of my dogs who aren’t here anymore, being able to finally send Chloe’ cute videos and memes with kids and the reason why — the sweetest little boy, other people’s dogs, the barista at the Starbucks inside the grocery store, extreme discounts on Halloween candy, birds in the feeder (although apparently someone pooped inside it this week), other people getting therapy, spices — the smells and tastes, new music from some of my favorite artists, good TV, watching Diners Drive -ins and Dives with Eric, really yummy salads, honey roasted peanuts, the heater for the pool at the gym getting fixed, sitting in the sauna with Eric, texting with Chris and Mom, the hum of our furnace, being retired in that I never have to leave the house unless I WANT to, being able to email or text or use an app for all the things that used to be done on the phone or in person, stretching, a warm shower, the way Ringo makes himself a nest of blankets and pillows on the couch, having hair that doesn’t need constantly cut or styled or fussed with, reading in bed at night while Eric and Ringo sleep. 

1. Ringo’s health, and all the support we have to maintain it. This picture showed up in my Facebook memories, from a year ago today, and I noticed Ringo was wearing his shortwave therapy loop because at the time he was having trouble with his arthritis. I’m so grateful he’s been doing so much better in that regard, is able to take longer walks and even run a little, with no more pain and no more limp.

And today, I am grateful for so many, probably including you reading this now, for supporting us and Ringo through his most recent “emergency.” We got his more extensive bloodwork back and there was no evidence of anything big bad, anything that got missed, and his current updated treatment plan for hemorrhagic gastroenteritis is working. He’s eating and feeling so much better, which means Eric and I are also finally eating and feeling better.

2. The Colorado winter sky. We got two or three inches of snow last night, which is almost all melted now because it’s been sunny most of the day, so we are officially in that strange season that is one part winter, one part autumn, and both are equally possible on any given day. My favorite thing about this time of year is the sky, and on one of the mornings I didn’t get to walk this week, I still got to see the sun rise and show off over our house.

3. Morning walks. With Ringo not feeling good and all the stress that went with that, these were much shorter this week when they happened, but when they did, I was so grateful to get out of the house and move around.

3. Good friends. In particular, when I’m stressed out or sad, one thing that always helps is to do something with or for my friends. It always makes me feel better.

4. Clean sheets and a shower. When I’m stressed out or sad, it’s also hard to take care of myself, but these are two things I did for myself today that made me feel so much better.

5. My tiny family, tiny home, tiny life. I couldn’t do life, especially the hardest parts, without them.

Bonus joy: realizing Ringo’s veterinarian is also our neighbor — while there’s no actual benefit to that (I’m not going to show up at her house asking for help for Ringo, I’m not a complete wacko) there’s still something sweet about it that makes me happy like we live in a small town even though we really don’t, clean laundry, Lofi Fruits music, a warm casserole after not really eating for days, english muffin bread toasted with butter and marionberry jam my aunt made, a good night’s sleep, spices, birds in the feeder, texting with Chloe’ and Chris, getting to visit with Chloe’ and her cute boy and her dogs, having the money to be able to pay for the healthcare we need, 24/7 vets, Wild Writing, reading, gummies of all kinds, sitting with Eric on the couch, hugging him in the kitchen, cooking with him, when he told me this week “you are so strong”, training with Shelby, getting in the pool, the hydromassage chair, the sauna, my infrared heating pad, grapefruit bubbly water, the option to email and text rather than make a phone call, the sound of the owls in the early morning, the murder of crows chasing the two hawks in the sky over our yard, other people’s dogs, Friday, the weekend, purple highlighters, glue stick, gingerbread muffins, good TV, listening to podcasts, reading in bed at night while Eric and Ringo sleep.