1. Morning walks. Now when we leave it’s still dark as the season is turning towards fall, my favorite season in Colorado. This week we saw rabbitbrush and aster blooms, three racoons, two deer, three beaver swimming in McMurry Pond, and two owls talking to each other in the big trees at the cemetery. I heard coyotes yipping too. I’m glad that with the cooler weather and fewer mosquitoes that we can go back to some of our favorite routes by the water. Right now, it’s necessary medicine.

2. Practice, and teaching what I practice. This week, I was subbing a donation based meditation class with only one person in attendance when I was “zoombombed.” They were in our online session with their camera turned off and when I began to give instruction, offering a loving-kindness meditation, they turned their camera on. You know how when you see something you weren’t expecting and it takes a moment to realize what you are looking at? That happened, and when I realized what it was (it was a person with a penis, masturbating, the camera positioned so all I could see was hips, hands, pubic hair, etc.), I was so shocked it took a few more seconds to react, get them out of the session, block and report them. I reported it to both the studio and the police, and the studio has made some changes and created a protocol for if it happens again, but most likely the person will never be identified, let alone charged. It was scary in the moment, as I was alone in a public place and I’d said so to this person, that it was going to be just us, but the aftermath has been mostly sadness and disappointment. A few days later, I taught my regular yoga class at Red Sage for the first time in weeks, and it was the best thing I could have done for myself. It reminded me why I teach and how what I teach impacts my students in a positive way. Practice supports me in all the aspects of my life, making whatever I experience so much more manageable. 

3 & 4. Good food and good friends. I have a few beloved friends who have been really showing up for me lately, when I really really needed it. They share food and memes, tears and laughter, and their time, their attention, their open hearts. I’m so grateful for them. 

5. My tiny family, small house, little life. I love it here. There’s no place I’d rather be, even when I sometimes have to be.

Bonus joy: books, listening to podcasts, a big glass of cold clean water, naps, dark chocolate, chocolate zucchini bread, walnuts, raspberries, grocery shopping, good neighbors, finishing the laundry, pay day, a warm shower, being able to start over — again, weighted blankets, down pillows and blankets, a dishwasher, a sunny morning, how green our grass still is this late in the summer, the bees on our Rocky Mountain bee plant, the smell of rabbitbrush, texting with my brother and Chloe’, practicing with my writing sangha, watching the original Iron Chef with Eric and all the times he says, “I don’t remember this one, do you remember it?”, making each other laugh, hugs, ink refills, Bluetooth speakers, the story Eric told me about he and Ringo hearing coyotes howling on their walk and stopping to listen and Ringo starting to howl with them, making someone cry in a good way, baking, reading in bed at night while Eric and Ringo sleep.

1. Morning walks. It’s slowly leaning towards fall, my favorite season in Colorado. There are fewer mosquitoes and it’s darker in the morning which means we see more critters and fewer people.

2. Practice. I’ve been understandably distracted so the quality of my practice has reflected that, and yet I’m still so much better off when I show up, am present for whatever may arise, keep my heart open. There’s lots of crying right now, but that can be good too.

3. Simple self care. Brushing my teeth, taking a shower, drinking water, eating, napping, reading, asking for help, hugs, petting Ringo’s sweet head, letting myself fall apart and feel sad, texting with Chloe’ and Chris and Mom, listening to podcasts, watching videos, looking up at the sky, stretching, keeping the curtains closed, eating cookies and mac & cheese.

4. All the work I did to prepare myself for being “here.” I’ve been a serious committed practitioner for 15 years, have studied and read books about all the difficult things, have taken classes and gone to workshops and retreats, practiced with open hearted teachers of all kinds and became a teacher myself. Turns out the benefit of all that is to be able to live through this — somewhere between grief and grace, in the middle of nowhere, at the end of the world, empty and luminous. Thank you, past me, for the dedication, the tenderness. You are saving me now. 

5. My tiny family, small house, little life. Ringo got a new enrichment toy and it’s so cute watching him pull out each ribbon of felt and carefully unroll it with his nose to get the treat. Eric spent the day at a D&D event, an annual bash that involves dressing up (this year’s theme: Space Cowboy) — I swear, a nerd is the best possible partner for an introvert.