1. Morning walks. Yesterday morning we enjoyed the last of the fall color. Today, probably all day, we are getting snow, which will cause the leaves that were left to turn brown and fall. Winter has its own beauty, but my heart belongs to fall.

2. Practice, alone and together.

3. Other people’s dogs, kids, and gardens. Today I met Tony, my friend’s new puppy. I’m glad I don’t have a puppy right now, but puppy medicine is welcome any time. And his stripes and his EARS! ❤

4. Snow day. It’s nothing like it was three years ago today when we got over a foot, or all the other years we’ve had a big snow the week of Halloween, but it’s just enough to make things quiet and soft. It’s the perfect weather for a nap, (which I’m going to do as soon as I finish this post).

5. My tiny family, small house, little life. So perfect, for me. In the few days before the cold weather came, I managed to repaint the front and sides of the house, the same green it was ten years ago that had faded to almost blue. One day when I was out painting, a flock of about 50 noisy sandhill cranes migrating south flew over our house. If I hadn’t been painting, I would have missed them. I didn’t finish but got myself half way there and can do the rest in the spring. I also got paint to do some touchups inside.

Bonus joy: good books, listening to podcasts, watching TV, zucchini bread, new stickers, hoodies, writing with my Wild-ish sangha, Mike Birbiglia tickets (he’s coming to Fort Collins!!!), texting with my brother and mom and Chloe’, meditating with Chelsey (sort of), all the love being sent my way, training with Shelby and the gang, new books, a mug of hot green tea, peanut butter, teriyaki sauce, cancelled plans, plans to see Chris Fairbanks tomorrow and laugh my face off, reading in bed at night while Eric and Ringo sleep. 

1. Morning walks. I love fall in Colorado, so much. It’s just gorgeous right now.

2. A short trip to celebrate our 30th anniversary. We spent the weekend up at Beaver Meadows. They recently did a bunch of updates to the cabins and grounds and they were really nice. It was so good to be together, just the three of us, do some hiking and resting. On our first morning hike, we saw a MOOSE!

3. Practice. “Do practice while you can. You’ll need it when you can’t.” ~Krishna Das
I had lunch with a dear friend yesterday who lost her mom three years ago. She pointed out I had a “head start” of sorts with my experience of caring for my mom while losing my dad. I absolutely did: 15 years of study, practice, therapy, and holding space for others. It supported me, soothed me, saved me. Practice, do the work now, even if you can’t imagine the outcome or where it will take you. You’ll know when you get there and your effort and your ease will be worth it. 

Inspired by Jami Attenberg, I started a new challenge: 1000 words a day for 30 days. This is how I built this blog, with 30 day challenges, and it now has 2700 posts after 12 years of writing. I’ve also written every day for that many years, as evidenced by the sagging shelves full of journals in my office closet. But this writing a book is new, something I’m trying to figure out– in particular, finding the way I write a book. The 30th day this time just so happens to land the day before my birthday, so I’ll have extra to celebrate.

I’ve been trying to write “the book(s)” for the past few years but life — burnout, retirement, COVID, menopause, losing Sam and Ang, the DT Era, the current rising environmental crisis, #blm, a major surgery, losing Joe and Rita, the falling away of a dear friendship, the loss of not one but three sanghas, Mom’s stroke and Dad’s passing. It’s been a lot. And it will continue to be a lot because being human is hard.

Life is tender and terrible, beautiful and brutal. I’m over here just trying to keep my heart open, stay tender, keep practicing, and not give up. Two days in, I already have 6500+ words. 😉💜 

4. Good friends. Lunch with Chelsey, texting with Chloe’, training with Shelby and the gang, writing with my Friday morning Wild-ish group — so good.

5. My tiny family, small home, and little life. It’s everything I ever wanted.

Bonus joy: a massage, a warm shower, a nap, taco salad, texting with Chris and Mom, dark chocolate covered just about anything, getting to go to Red Sage three times in a week, having Jennae’s five year old daughter in my yoga class on Thursday (even though at 45 minutes in to a 60 minute class, she sighed loudly and said, “I’m tired of this already, when will we be done?”), how happy Ringo was when we packed up the car to come back on Sunday morning and I asked him “you ready to go home?” (apparently, he loves it here as much as me), other people’s kids and dogs and gardens, pie, new books, grocery shopping, clean laundry, purple and orange mums from the grocery store, listening to podcasts, watching TV with Eric and night and making each other laugh, hugs in the kitchen, reading in bed at night while Eric and Ringo sleep.