1. Morning walks. I don’t like to think about what my life would be like right now without Ringo or some other dog that needed to be walked first thing every morning. I’m pretty sure there are some days it would be almost impossible to get out of bed. But I do have him and those walks are medicine. The naps we take together on the couch later are a close second, but also depend on him being there.

2. Aimee Mann. I’ve loved her since high school, since ‘Til Tuesday, and continue to adore her. Luckily, Eric likes her too, so any time she comes to Colorado, I know he’ll go see her with me. I think we’ve seen her about 6 or 7 times now, maybe more? This week we saw her one night in Boulder and the next night in Fort Collins where we also had the company of some friends. Her opener was also really good, really funny, so not what I expected when he stepped on stage. Both shows were a good reminder that music can be medicine and as hard as it was to be up and out late two weeknights in a row, it was so worth it. 

3. Practice. There was a puppy in yoga again this week. My Friday morning writing sangha is one of the things keeping me soft and sane, more than usual, along with my morning meditation practice. 

4. Self-care, as in taking care of myself. I was on a roll for a bit but taking a shower was harder this week, (one of the ways my depression shows itself). I was able to keep moving, resting, feeding, and hydrating my body in most of the other ways and was happy for that. That + practice + reading/listening to podcasts/watching TV + good friends + my tiny family are what keep me going, keep me from giving up.

5. My tiny family, small house, little life. A home filled with laughter and love and some plants and lots of books and a couple of dogs was all I ever wanted. Now that I have it, I never want to be without it.

Bonus joy: making art with Janice, roasted vegetables, good TV (I watched the limited series Breath of Fire on HBO this week and it was really good), listening to podcasts, keeping the house cool enough I can still wear a hoodie and socks and cuddle up under a blanket (Eric turns it back up as soon as he gets home), videos from The Dodo, the Merlin app which helped me identify a flock of tiny bushtits this week, soft bread, toast, soup, the sound of the owls in the dark of early morning, seeing one of my favorite yoga teachers out “in the wild,” Bluetooth speakers, texting with Chloe’ and Chris, gummies, clean sheets, my weighted blanket, down pillows and blankets and coats, wool hats and sweaters and socks, ink refills, blank pages and a good pen, that one shade of blue, walking through piles of golden leaves, glue stick and scissors, indoor plumbing, electric cars, other people’s kids and dogs and gardens, kindness, grocery shopping, my infrared heating pad, libraries and librarians and books, poetry and poets, reading in bed at night while Eric and Ringo sleep.

1. You, kind and gentle reader. This week was a hard one. I’ve been writing a lot about “it,” processing and contemplating and raging and grieving, but don’t really have anything that is ready to post here. What I do want to say now, today, right here is how much I appreciate YOU, how lucky I feel that once I am ready to talk, I have this space and your loving attention. Some of you have been here a really long time and some of you just got here, but just knowing you are “out there” gives me so much comfort, inspires me to keep going, to keep showing up, to not give up. Thank you for that and so many other things. 💕  

2. Morning walks. No matter what is going on in the world or my life, walking with Ringo in the early morning while things are still quiet is my medicine. The week started with a gorgeous sky and the final stage of golden trees, and ended with the sky turning gray as a storm was heading our way with our first snow and most of the gold on the ground.

3. Practice. More essential this week than most, and as upset as we all were, it was especially sweet. I have a rotating group of 2-5 people who come to regularly practice with me at Red Sage, and this week we had to open up the second room to make space for the 11 people and one puppy who showed up, all saying, “I really need this today” — which they always say, but this time there was an urgency that normally isn’t present. And my Friday morning writing sangha, which is always such a supportive practice and group, felt extra special too. My morning meditation and writing practice also gave me a safe space to rage and grieve, which was so important. I hope, dear reader, that you have something in your life that supports you when you are strong and when you are struggling.

4. Books, poetry, music, TV, films, comedy, podcasts. They keep me company when I can’t people, they teach me and make me laugh and inspire me and give me comfort.

5. My tiny family, small house, little life. Extra gratitude here this week as well. Having a safe, stable, soft place to land is so important.

Bonus joy: apple pie oatmeal, gummies, a big glass of cold clean water, down blankets and pillows, reading James Baldwin and then having a discussion about it with other smart and compassionate humans, seeing a show with Eric and plans for two more (we saw The Moth yesterday, and Monday night we’ll see Aimee Mann in Boulder and Tuesday night see her again in Fort Collins), bread, potatoes, clean sheets, clean laundry, a warm shower, other people’s kids and dogs, twinkle lights, animal rescue, hospice care, electric cars and solar panels, plantain chips and dip, Christmas movies, true crime, wool socks and sweaters, peanut butter, snowflakes, keeping the house cool enough that I can wear a hoodie and snuggle under a blanket, cuddling with Eric and Ringo on the couch, hugs, making each other laugh, reading in bed at night while Eric and Ringo sleep.