Category Archives: Gratitude

Last Day of Class, and P.S. I Love You

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I just got back from the last session of my Writing for the Web class at CSU and I am completely exhausted, but I have committed to posting every day this month, so what I’ll do is share with you some of what I shared with them as part of my “good-bye speech,” (it is very important to acknowledge endings, to say good-bye). On our course blog, I posted this:

It is the last day, the final class session!!!

Congratulations! You were awesome!

I was watching this video yesterday, and it made me think of what I would want to tell you on the last day, what I would want you to take away from this class.

Dallas Clayton is a person who wrote a book for his kid, and it ended up starting a revolution of sorts, certainly led to a career where he got to work doing what he loved. He says, in an interview with Brene’ Brown (the same place I got the above picture of awesome kids):

“Do what makes you happy. Use that to make other people happy.”

And when she asks him “Do you have a mantra or manifesto for living and loving with your whole heart?,” his response is “We’re all going to die.”

This is similar to the message of Chris Guillebeau, who wrote the book “The Art of Non-Conformity: Set Your Own Rules, Live the Life You Want, and Change the World“: make your life better by doing what you love and in turn make the life of others better as well, and don’t wait, start now!

And then there’s Austin Kleon’s “How to Steal Like an Artist,” where he reminds us:

  1. Steal like an artist.
  2. Don’t wait until you know who you are to get started.
  3. Write the book you want to read.
  4. Use your hands.
  5. Side projects and hobbies are important.
  6. The secret: do good work and share it with people.
  7. Geography is no longer our master.
  8. Be nice. (The world is a small town.)
  9. Be boring. (It’s the only way to get work done.)
  10. Creativity is subtraction.

So what I would want you to take away from this class, take into your life:

  • Trust yourself
  • Take care of yourself
  • BE yourself
  • Get to know what things make you happy
  • Pay attention
  • Notice the little things because they might turn out to be what’s important
  • Expect to work hard at what you love
  • Be nice, or in other words, don’t be a jerk

I told them that magic happens to people when they do what interests them, what they love, and even if they don’t end up getting paid for it, it will make them a happy life. And every once in a while, some people do get lucky and get paid for the thing they love, and they are having a blast, so there’s always the chance that the next one will be you.

I told them to trust themselves, and even if other people didn’t understand, to do what felt right to them. If something doesn’t feel right, trust yourself. Have faith in your gut instinct, your intuition, your basic wisdom. Follow your own heart, even if no one else seems to be going that way.

I told them that you can’t always plan how your life will go. I’m a great example: it took 12 years and three different colleges to finish my degree, and what led to where I am now isn’t so much my education as the fact that every time I got the opportunity to do something that sounded interesting or fun, I said “yes,” and looking back, it might make sense how I got here, but there’s no way I could have planned it. As Dallas Clayton would say:

art by Dallas Clayton

I told them that so many people’s big idea, great work, came out of something that they didn’t think was important or that big of a deal at the time. Artists who thought they were only doodling, writers who were just writing a book for their own kid, people helping out on a project or playing around and it sparked an idea that led to their life’s work that turned out to be totally unrelated to their degree or any dream they’d ever had for themselves.

I told them that when they are doing what they love, they will happily work hard, that on the weekends, I can easily work 10-12 hour days, and the only reason I stop is because I physically can’t do more.  If my body would let me, I’d keep going.

I told them that none of this necessarily had anything to do with writing for the web, but it was what I wanted them to know.

Joy Jam and Gifts

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I didn’t get to respond to yesterday’s National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo) writing prompt yet, or today’s, so I’ll start there.

“What was the first tangible gift you remember receiving?”

I had to think really hard about this, but I believe it was my Mrs. Beasley doll. The Mattel Company created the Mrs. Beasley doll in 1967, so we were “born” the same year. She was Buffy’s favorite doll on the late 60s TV sitcom Family Affair, and I wanted to be Buffy, imagined I was. Mrs. Beasley wasn’t a baby doll, but rather this strange grandmotherly figure, which seems an odd thing for a little girl to want to play with. Buffy’s doll on the show didn’t talk, (in the sixties, talking dolls were not that common—this was long before Barney the purple dinosaur or Tickle Me Elmo), but mine had a string on the back you could pull and she’d say things like:

  • “Do you want to hear a secret? I know one.”
  • “I do think you’re the nicest little friend I ever had.”
  • “If you could have three wishes, what would you wish for?”
  • “If you were a little smaller, I could rock you to sleep.”
  • “Long ago I was a little girl just like you!”
  • “Speak a little louder, dear, so Mrs. Beasley can hear you.”
  • “Would you like to try on my glasses? You may if you wish.”

Honestly, she was the ugliest little thing: black square framed glasses, gold sock-shoes that covered up oddly large ball-shaped feet, a blue dress/pantsuit thing with white polka dots and gold trim, and bad hair.  And yet, she was so cheerful, had such a happy expression, and I took her with me everywhere I went.  My first official act as a “big girl,” after answering my mom’s very serious “are you sure about this?” many times, was to sell her at a garage sale.  I cried myself to sleep that night.

What was the most disappointing gift you received as a child?

My answer to this prompt isn’t about one single gift, but rather a practice of giving. My dad grew up poor and my mom was from a farm family of twelve kids, and we didn’t have a ton of money either, so my parents were very frugal–and rightly so. I learned a lot from them about simplicity and minimalism that I am so grateful for now, but as a kid, being so careful didn’t seem quite as joyful.

Sometimes in the fall, during the back to school season when all the winter coats would go on sale for 50% off, my mom would take us in to pick out a coat.  However, we didn’t get to keep it just yet.  She packed it away to save for Christmas.  The sense of anticipation on Christmas morning when you opened that package was disappointed by the recognition of the item you helped pick out and already knew about.  It wasn’t that I didn’t appreciate the gift, it was just that I missed the surprise.

Joy Jam: What were the 3-5 things that gave you joy this week?

This prompt comes every Friday from Louise Gale and her new project, “your heART makes a difference,” and the stated purpose is to “radiate the energy of gratitude, thankfulness and celebration of everything that gave us joy this week. Together we will help send positive energy out into the world.” You should join us! The trouble I always have with this prompt is there are more than 3-5 things, so I have to save a few to add to my Monday “Something Good” post.

1. Shopping for “my” Pine Ridge kids. I wrote about the Pine Ridge Holiday Gift Project the other day, and a few days after that in my Monday “Something Good” post.  I magically got assigned the same two kids this year, a five year old girl and a 10 year old boy. I typically don’t really like shopping, but love giving gifts, and buying for these two, now for the second year in a row, makes my heart so full.  A football, flashlights, mittens, hats, socks, soft cuddle blankets, a memory game, silly putty, coloring books, and crayons. I hope these material things can somehow carry all the love I feel for them, somehow communicate all the good I wish for them, these kids I have never met.

2. Walking the dogs Thursday morning with Eric in the snow. Typically, Eric and I don’t walk the dogs together in the morning during the week, but this Thursday, Eric came with us on “my” day. There hasn’t been enough snow yet this year for me to be tired of it, and I miss Eric during the week because we work and don’t seem to get to see each other much, and we had the park all to ourselves.  It felt like we were on vacation.

3. Conferencing with my students. Considering I did this for eight hours straight on Tuesday and didn’t leave campus until 8 pm, you’d think I’d complain, but I have such good students this semester! They make me laugh, make me feel useful when I can help them or make them feel better, have such great and interesting ideas, and like we all do, generate so much unnecessary suffering for themselves. I wish the best for them. Maybe they will save the world.

4. A new pack of metallic markers in fabulous colors. I can’t wait to use these.

5. Rediscovering my knee length sweater. It is so warm and soft, and a bit more stylish than my purple fleece bathrobe.  I can feel like I am lounging, but still look like I am dressed.

  • Wishing you gifts and so much joy!