Category Archives: Flowers

Strength Training

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Facing your fear, confronting your grief, softening to strong emotions and relaxing with discursive thoughts, staying with reality rather than getting hooked by a story or grasping at hope, letting go, surrendering instead of running away or rejecting or numbing out, is like lifting weights, like strength training–-the more you do it, the stronger you get, the more solid your confidence and courage become, the more open and whole your heart, the more complete and fulfilling your life.

And when the next wave of pain or suffering comes, it’s not so likely to knock you down. You will be less apt to freak out or fall over. You might even find that the strength of your core, the power of your presence is such that you stand as it washes over you, heart open and mind calm and surrounded by love even as your heart breaks.

The point is: the bad stuff won’t stop coming, won’t go away. There is no safe place, no ground to stand on that won’t continue to shift and change under your feet. What will happen is you will be able to stay with it, clarity and compassion and wisdom will arise, and you will find yourself rising up to meet it, strong and tender even if you are terrified.

You’ve got this. You know what to do. You are loved and you are not alone.

Gratitude Friday

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This post is a mashup of The Little Bliss List and Joy Jam, and as such is meant to celebrate: the little things that brought me hope and happiness this week, the sweet stuff of life, those small gifts that brought me joy this week. By sharing them, I not only make public my gratitude, but maybe also help you notice your own good stuff and send some positive energy out into the world.

1. Dexter, home and whole. A week after the “bloody scare,” the boy is doing good. We are accepting that there may not be a reasonable way to get a definitive diagnosis, to know for sure he has cancer, so we are living in the moment with him. And in this moment, he is happy and well, and I am grateful.

2. Eric. I often find myself wondering how I could possibly walk through this life without him. He makes me laugh, but is also right there when I’m having a meltdown. I can always count on him to help, to carry extra weight or take over entirely when it all gets too much for me. I am so lucky.

3. Good friends. The kind that don’t shy way or avoid me when things get really hard, even when I am going publicly crazy. All I have to do is ask, and they are right there, ready to help, giving hugs and good advice, offering support, reminding me that I am not alone.

4. Rocky Mountain Bee Plants in the wild. These were by the back pond in McMurry Ponds Natural Area, the section they rehabbed a few years ago. It’s close enough to our house that I like to think our plants were their origins.

5. Silly sitcoms on Netflix streaming. I have moved past so many of my numb out, chill out, “go to” zone out behaviors that TV is about the only thing I have left, although we haven’t had cable TV for almost ten years. Having access to 20 minute episodes of fairly mindless comedies available to me on days when I just can’t muster the strength for anything else is nice.

Bonus joy: My new class of students. I really like them already, and we’ve only had two class sessions. Yesterday, they shared collages they’d made that showed who they are, what they love. I had been having a really hard day, and listening to them talk about their lives, make each other laugh, got me out of my own head, was just the medicine I needed.