Category Archives: Core Values

Something Good.

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I think I might have already mentioned this, but when I am feeling bad, I will often ask Eric to “tell me something good.”  When I need something to hang on to, to make me feel better, something to show me that it’s not all bad.  When I am in that dark hole, way down at the bottom, and the mean things with teeth are down there with me–“tell me something good.”

Picture by Cubby

He’s really good at it, because even when all he can think of is “I love you,” it totally works.  I mean, how great is it that the person that you picked and who said “yes” eighteen years ago, and knows you better than anyone, knows all the embarrassing and ugly stuff, continues to love you?  He usually is able to give me a whole list when I ask him, followed by a hug and “what can I do for you, how can I make you feel better?”

But wait–this isn’t a post about how great Eric is, even though that’s true.  This post is about a new Monday feature I’m starting today on this blog: Something Good.  I like the idea of gratitude generating joy, and the opportunity my gratitude has to spread joy when I share the good things.

Here’s today’s list:

  • Monday Morning Yoga. For the past four and a half years, I have been going to a 6:30 a.m. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning yoga class.  The teachers have remained the same, and there are two other people, along with a rotating cast of about 10-15 others, who have also attended for all that time.  It is a constant comfort, while it continues to challenge me to keep changing and evolving.  These classes were the beginnings of my yoga practice, and I am so grateful.
  • My Dogs. I promise I won’t list them every week, but I totally could.  These furry boys are at the center of my life, and live right in the middle of my heart.  And Obi might be physically gone, but he is still with me, with us.
  • Kind Over Matter.  This is on of my favorite websites.  It is a collection of daily goodness that comforts and inspires me.  There was a guest post today, “Be the Rabbit” that was so great, made me think of my dogs and helped me to think of another strategy for taking better care of myself.  “Kind Over Matter is a place that is filled with kindness, inspiration, creativity, truth, gentleness & love.” Amen.
  • Blogtoberfest. This event challenges bloggers to post to their blog every day in October.  It was perfect timing for me, because I had just started this blog, and committing to daily posts gave me the discipline and inspiration to really get this thing off the ground.  I might have already faltered if not for Blogtoberfest, but with it, I feel settled and connected to this practice, and can already see it’s value, shared and internalized.
  • Writing This Blog. Writing publicly and daily is really good writing practice, and as I have mentioned before, people like Malcolm Gladwell (who wrote Outliers: The Story of Success) would argue that it takes some 10,000 hours of dedication to a craft or profession to become an “expert,” so the more practice, the better.

And also, a few times in the past weeks, as I have been writing a post, a line emerges that shifts things for me.  Yesterday, it was this one: “it’s actually my heart that is starving and this is not going to feed it, never going to satisfy that hunger no matter how much I eat.”  Holy Wow.  It feels like there’s this deep wisdom bubbling up, and this practice gives it space, power, a voice.

  • A moment of gratitude from one of my favorite movies, Joe Vs. the Volcano: “Dear God, whose name I do not know – thank you for my life. I forgot how big… thank you. Thank you for my life.”
  • Your turn: tell me something good.

a little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants

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One of my core values is silliness: ”a little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants,” joyous, giggly, loving.  I grew up adoring women like Lucille Ball, Carol Burnett, Barbara Streisand, and Mary Tyler Moore.  People who can make me laugh are my favorite.  I love stand-up comedy, funny TV shows, and movies that make me laugh.

Photo by Wonderlane: Lama's Laughing

What I don’t like is when a laugh comes at someone’s expense, comedy that depends on someone being the butt of the joke.  It makes me uncomfortable, and sad.  I can’t watch shows like Punk’d and I have never seen the movie “Borat.”  I cringe at that kind of humor, not laugh.  I can’t stand to think that someone is being mean, and someone else is being hurt, and an audience of other people are laughing about it, finding joy in it.

I had mentioned in my post yesterday that I rented the movie “Bridesmaids.”  I really needed a good laugh, and I had heard such good things about it.  And it was good, in a way.  There are a few scenes in the beginning–the two main characters working out at the park together and then going to a cafe–that were so good, and if the whole movie had been like that, I would have loved it.

But too much of the movie’s humor depended on at least one person’s failure or trouble or suffering.  I got so stressed out, I spent the last half of the movie eating cheese and crackers, trying to comfort myself.  I wanted to love it, because so many of the actresses are some of my favorites, and I did like it, and there were a few really funny things, it just didn’t do for me what I was hoping–give me that fix of pure joy, allowing me to laugh off all the stress and yuck.  I wanted a movie that made me laugh like “Away We Go.”

And because I’d rented Bridesmaids at Redbox–there was no gag reel!  Just ask Eric, there’s nothing that bothers me more than no movie bloopers included in the special features, especially when the movie is a comedy.  Gag reels and bloopers are one of my favorite things.  In fact, if I wrote a list of my ten most favorite things, gag reels would be on it.  I went online and found the one for this movie, and spent another half hour searching for and watching ones from other movies and TV shows–and I laughed!  It felt so good.

I like self-deprecating humor, or physical comedy. I like comedy that points out how ridiculous we all are, “ha, ha aren’t we silly? but hey that’s okay, because we are all in this together, and we can laugh about it, so that makes it okay.”

This is one of my favorite comedy bits, from Brian Regan (a comedian who is hilarious without ever saying a bad word) about dogs barking at nothing.  He does another funny bit about Pop Tarts.

  • What makes you laugh?