Category Archives: Brene’ Brown

Three Truths and One Wish

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cover of my new journal from rifle paper company, reminds me of the wallpaper in my great aunt magdelaine’s bedroom (except that it was pink)

I started this post today with this simple writing prompt: “What do I know to be true right now?”

1. Truth: My house won’t be any cleaner just because I’m on vacation. Oh dear reader, I had such plans to be better, do better–stronger, faster, cleaner. And yet, only a few days in, I’ve decided to let that go. There is nothing magic or special about vacation. There’s still work that needs done and still not enough time to do everything I have planned–and that’s going to have to be okay.

2. Truth: The days aren’t magically longer because I’m on vacation. Another expectation I had about this vacation that I am letting go early on is that somehow the days would stretch out before me like forever. That I would lose track of time in a sense of endless bliss, feeling like years had passed between sunrise and sunset, like the way summer vacation felt when I was a kid. Now don’t get me wrong, I hope to have a few days like that, maybe even a few weeks, but I’m okay if the entire almost three months doesn’t feel that way every minute.

3. Truth: I need to learn to rest and play. At the workshop with Brene’ Brown this weekend, reviewing the guideposts for wholehearted living, the things to cultivate and the things to let go that she writes about in The Gifts of Imperfection, I felt pretty good about most of them. I am clearly still working on “cultivating self-compassion and letting go of perfectionism” and “cultivating calm and stillness and letting go of anxiety as a lifestyle,” but I am making such good progress.

The one place that I need to do some real work is with “cultivating rest and play and letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol.” I’ve mentioned before how now that I’m finally moving, it’s so hard for me to stop–I feel like I’ve already wasted so much time. But, Brene’ reminded us this weekend that if we rush the work, the work won’t be as good as it could be, and that this is a life we are living, we don’t want to rush our way to the end, and we want to enjoy it and contribute something of value so we need to cultivate the things that keep us strong, to “respect our body’s need for renewal.”

One Wish: That we can all soften and lean in to joy, whether we are on vacation or not, wherever we find it. And that we remember we can stop, sleep, rest, even quit if we need to, that there is wisdom in being gentle and kind with ourselves, brilliance in slowing down.

Day of Rest

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I didn’t post yesterday because I was in Boulder attending the first day of a two day workshop with Brene’ Brown, The Power of Vulnerability. Brene’ is recording it to be made into a six cd set that will be released later in the year, and videos to be used in an upcoming class, but she wanted a live audience to talk to, rather than sitting in a sound booth talking to a microphone. It has been an amazing experience to be in the same room with her and other like-hearted people, interested in learning how to be vulnerable, in living and loving wholeheartedly. Brene’ is the best storyteller–wise, grounded, authentic, and so funny.

Just in case you haven’t seen her TED talks, I’m going to include them here. They are worth the time. The first one, along with her book The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, changed my life.

Brene’ talked yesterday about how we live in a culture of scarcity, constantly feeling “not ___________ enough” (fill in the blank: not good enough, not rich enough, not safe enough, etc.), and that our first thought in the morning is “I didn’t get enough sleep” and our last thought before falling asleep is “I didn’t get enough done.”

She also said that after a decade that included 9/11, war, and a troubled economy, “I think we’re tired of being afraid, of thinking and worrying about what we should fear and who we should blame.” This reminded me of a quote Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche shared last week that I’ve been contemplating:

Perhaps when we are finally fed up with torturing ourselves and others, out of our exhaustion will arise a pause in which we will collectively reflect upon our goodness.

sakyong mipham in tibet

I don’t know about you, kind and gentle reader, but I am certainly fed up with smashing myself to bits, tired of judging and blaming others, sick and tired of the whole thing. And even though Brene’ warned us yesterday that “those of us willing to show up and be seen will get our asses kicked,” I think I’ll take that alternative to being stuck, seemingly safe in my armor, disengaged and numb in my cocoon, and miserable.

Go ahead, life–kick my ass. I’m going to do what Susan Piver suggests, open my heart and show up with confidence, “the willingness to be as ridiculous, luminous, intelligent, and kind as you really are, without embarrassment.”