Author Archives: jillsalahub

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About jillsalahub

Writer & Contemplative Practice Guide holding space for people cultivating a foundation of a stable mind, embodied compassion and wisdom. CYT 500

Gratitude Friday (on a Saturday)

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1. Morning walks. Ringo is getting so much better, even running with Eric a bit again, but when he walks with me we take our time — or rather I take my time and he waits for me. A lot of the time, he and Eric go and are back before the sun is even up. With me, we wait so we can be on the trails as the sun is rising. Two things that absolutely keep me from giving up: a walk with a dog by the water and the sun rising.

2. Reading. I love it so much and have my whole life, could never live long enough to read all the books I want. It’s my favorite.

3. Practicing together. This is more complicated with COVID, but I can still make art with Calyx and write with my Friday morning sangha and meditate or practice yoga with some of my favorite teachers.

4. All those who refuse to give up. This applies to just about every one who is still here, still trying, and I’m so grateful for them, for YOU.

Kitchen counter love note

5. My tiny family, my tiny home, my tiny life. Eric has one more week of working until he is off for his winter break. I’ll be so glad to have him around more. Once he gets home from his run this morning, we are going to finally go get our Christmas tree and wrap it in lights — one of my favorite things. If Sam were still here, he would have turned 12 yesterday. I was so sure he’d be my old dog, am still reeling from how suddenly he got sick, how fast we lost him. It’s been hard for me, especially getting used to having only one dog at a time, and yet Ringo is the equivalent of multiple dogs, such a jerk but also so sweet and goofy. He’s also pretty happy being THE dog.

Bonus joy: clean laundry, snacks, raspberries, watching the squirrels eat the pumpkins from our compost, birds at the feeder and the bath, our neighbor’s four dogs, Chloe’s curls and sense of humor and adorable baby, the playlist Calyx made, Laurie, texting with my mom and brother, listening to podcasts, cooking, bread, new books, good TV (we finished the latest season of The Great British Baking Show last night, and then realized there’s an old season we somehow missed), down blankets and pillows and coats, watercolors, that corner of the couch, reading in bed at night while Ringo and Eric sleep.

Three Truths and One Wish

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1. Truth: There’s a lot more to writing a book than just the writing. It won’t go the way you planned, expected, or hoped. It will absolutely test your patience, your ability to stay with something even though it seems like you aren’t getting anywhere. One part of the not writing for me right now is the realization that other aspects of my experience need tended, nourished, supported, and honored, and it won’t work to ask them to wait. Life keeps coming at you and has to be attended to and things will absolutely get in the way, require you to redirect your effort. A simple example for me right now is I sprained a ligament in one of my fingers and have to wear a splint for the next six weeks, which means that finger doesn’t bend and is making typing very slow and messy.

2. Truth: The last three years have been A LOT. I retired, I was (am) burnt out, menopause, COVID-19, losing my teaching gigs because of the necessary and reasonable restrictions and precautions of living in a global pandemic, losing my sangha, the death cult that is the USA and all the various ways it manifests, the climate crisis, losing Sam and Angela, ETC. Like I said in a text to my mom the other day, “life is tough, and there is no easy way out.” And yet, I am very lucky, privileged to have a core group of smart and funny people who REALLY love me, access to healthcare and medication and vaccines, a nutritionist (HAES), a therapist, multiple practices that help me to be soft enough to stay open and strong enough to stay, good books and podcasts, a supportive gym community, movement practices that bring me joy and make me feel good, ETC.

3. Truth: Being human is hard; don’t give up. It seems to be that simple, and that impossible. There’s no denying how difficult this is, how much grief and suffering exists, how much harm we do even when we are trying so hard not to, AND it is also so beautiful to be alive, to love, to experience a sunrise or cuddle a dog or plant a garden or make someone laugh. As Andrew Boyd says in this book Daily Afflictions: The Agony of Being Connected to Everything in the The Universe, “You must grow strong enough to love the world, yet empty enough to sit down at the same table with its worst horrors.” Not easy.

One wish: May whatever support you need to keep going find its way to you, quickly and without effort, and linger as long as you need it.