1. Morning walks. Things are really turning green right now, getting rowdy in all kinds of ways — like the line from this poem, “April comes like an idiot, babbling and strewing flowers.” We missed one walk because we got snow and cold yesterday, but on the others we saw a heron and some deer and of course stopped by Your Best Day Ever to visit Theresa, get some love and treats for Ringo.

2. Mom. There was a hiccup with Mom’s catheter this week that caused a false alarm, a phone call to advise us she may be in kidney failure which led to me consulting Dr. Google, even though I already knew what they would say because kidney failure is exactly what prompted us to place Dad in hospice care, and wondering how soon I might be on my way to Oregon again. Turns out, as my brother had already suspected, that they just needed to switch out her catheter, which had simply gotten “disconnected.” It’s so hard, knowing Mom wishes I was there and knowing at some point things will take a turn and this will all be over, feeling so stuck in this liminal space, this in-between. And yet, I’m still so grateful she is where she is, has such good care and because of that, my brother gets some relief, and that I’m home in my favorite place.

3. Practice. Yoga at Red Sage, writing with my Friday morning sangha, sitting in my practice room early in the morning.

4. Therapy, again. I’m getting closer to finding a therapist. I’ve been in and out of therapy for 35+ years. Lately, with everything going on in my own life and the world, I’ve been feeling the need to go back, but that meant finding someone new, which is always such a complicated and even discouraging process. I already have a primary care doctor, masseuse, acupuncturist, and nutritionist, along with a Pilates and Yoga instructor on my “care team,” but it’s been feeling like I’m going in regularly to get my teeth cleaned when this whole time I’ve been walking around with a broken leg (heart?).

5. My tiny family, small house, little life. The more I lose, the more that goes wrong, the more certain I am how good I have it here, with them.

Bonus joy: getting to spend time with Stacey and Heather, seeing Chloe’ irl, videos and pictures of Hendrix, other people’s kids and dogs, good food, making each other laugh while practicing yoga, aqua aerobics, sitting in the sauna, the hydromassage chair, lounging in the backyard with Ringo, sitting on the couch with Eric, hugs in the kitchen, listening to podcasts, watching TV, going to Mt Everest Cafe with Eric, making a new recipe and it turning out to be really good, sunshine, forsythia, a warm shower, a nap, down blankets and pillows, my Shakti mat, poetry and poets, libraries and librarians, comedy, true crime, documentaries, the chance to start over again, reading in bed at night while Eric and Ringo sleep.