October | 2024 | Open Space Practice, (AKA: A Thousand Shades of Gray)

1. 32 Of Life’s Simple Pleasures that Don’t Cost Much on Be More With Less by Tammy Strobel.

2. Poetry and a new book from Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer: Hypertrophy, After All These Years, and Positive Side Effect of Exhaustion. Also, Raghu Markus – Mindrolling – Ep. 562 – Unfolding Our Grief with Poet Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer (“Written in the key of grief and the melody of praise, Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer sits down with Raghu to discuss her newest poetry book, The Unfolding”), and The Courage to Say Yes – A Conversation with Tara Brach and poet, Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer (“In our interview, we talk about the key themes in her poems: grief, love, opening to what’s difficult and what’s beautiful… saying yes to life”).

3. Hurricane Helene: Over 220 dead as some communities struggle to get basic supplies.

4. Plan a Creepy Road Trip to These Abandoned Towns Across the U.S. In related news, The Most Stunning Road Trips to Take This Fall.

5. 7 Minutes of The Cutest Baby Animals You’ve Ever Seen. (video)

6. Comedy wildlife photography awards 2024. In related news, Bird Photographer of the Year 2024 winners.

7. Well versed: the pharmacy that dispenses poems instead of medicine. “Fresh from opening a London branch of the Poetry Pharmacy, peddling literary first aid to a new generation from the most famous shopping street in the world, founder Deb Alma explains why poetry is in motion.”

8. The garden-artwork that positively reframes ‘weeds’. “A misconception-busting garden has taken root in Oxford, on a spot – poignantly – where weed killers used to be developed and tested.”

9. The Californians Rescuing Surplus Produce to Fight Hunger. “By swiftly redistributing perishable fruits and vegetables, Food Forward addresses two issues at once: food insecurity and food waste.”

10. Wisdom from Patti Digh. Assume positive intent and Scrabble.

11. When Christians Finally Get Tired of Being Terrible on The Beautiful Mess by John Pavlovitz.

12. Wisdom from Frederick Joseph: Confronting the Weight of Our Deaths (“Marcellus Williams, Lebanon, Sudan, Gaza, me, and you”) and We Still Have Each Other (“A reflection on generosity, gratitude, and our futures”).

13. How We Chose the 2024 TIME100 Next. “Now in its fifth year, the TIME100 Next list was created to recognize that many of today’s most influential leaders are, like the 27-year-old Brown, individuals who are not waiting long in life to make an impact. Nor are they eager to respect the status quo by following the traditional power structures and pathways that have determined what influence looked like in the past. TIME100 Next has no age requirements; its aim is to recognize that influence does not have them either, nor does leadership look like it once did. Indeed, the majority of the individuals on this year’s list are leaders of color; more than half are women.”

14. Fat Bear Week returns: Meet this year’s beauty contestants after attack delayed reveal.

15. Diplomacy, Not War. A recent edition of My Civic Workout that is especially urgent.

16. John Amos, ‘Good Times’ Dad, Dies at 84. “He played Gordy the weatherman on ‘The Mary Tyler Moore Show’ and earned an Emmy nom for his turn as the older Kunta Kinte on ‘Roots.'” And let’s not forget him playing one of the dads in ‘Coming to America.’

17. ‘I’m motivated by the puzzle’: how Courtney Dauwalter became ultrarunning’s GOAT. “Dauwalter does not have a coach, a strict training plan or a Strava account, but the 38-year-old is widely considered ultrarunning’s greatest of all time.”

18. Prince ‘Purple Rain’ House Rental Reservations on Airbnb Start This Week.

19. Why Is Moo Deng So Popular? This ‘Pork Meatball’ Has a 24/7 Livestream.

20. The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos: Survival of the Fittest… or the Kindest? (podcast)

21. Why the World’s First Pet Cemetery Was Revolutionary. “A new book charts the history of pet cemeteries and honors the universal experience of grieving an animal companion.”

22. Fall Poems. “Poems to read as the leaves change and the weather gets colder,” from the Poetry Foundation.

23. The Cure to Releases First New Song in 16 Years.

24. How To Feel Better About Everything: You Are Not Alone from Satya Robyn on Going Gently.

25. 12 Tiny Steps To Help You Simplify Your Life Today by Courtney Carver on Be More With Less.

26. The Devil Finds Work, “And God is in cahoots” from Robert Jones, Jr.

27. The Chicken Is Maligned on Short Reads.

28. Hurricanes and Hard Truths. “Much like the wildfire smoke that engulfed the east coast last year, Helene is one more in a series of reminders that while there are certainly patterns at work as the atmosphere warms, there is no easy way to know where the next climate disaster will strike, who exactly will be in its way, or how one should prepare. It’s a deeply disorienting reality in which we find ourselves, to say the least.” In related news, Climate change is destroying American homes. Who should have to move?

29. Wisdom from Jami Attenberg’s Craft Talk: Hummingbirds, and Stop Doing The Math, and What We Really Want is That Room.

30. Louise Erdrich Answers the Orion Questionnaire, “In which we get to know our favorite writers better by exploring the sacred and mundane.”

31. Tell Me Something Good, a poem from Margaret “Peggy” Atwood. In related news, Margaret Atwood was advised to just find a good man. Her response: ‘You’re an idiot.’

32. Part 2: Going back from HannahRoWrites.

33. Unlocking the Power of Menopause: A Conversation with The Red School.
“A different and much needed perspective on the benefits of perimenopause and menopause.”

34. “Have a Good One!” said everyone in Oregon… “why clichés make me crazy.”

35. Poetry from Out With Lanterns, a daily poetry practice by Julie Barton: Silent Flight, and How to Fall Back In Love With Writing, and On Still Writing, and Make It Clear What You Love.

36. Pep Talk: On Second Chances from For Dear Life with Maggie Smith.

37. Be the lighthouse from Alexandra Franzen.

38. What if you had it all? from Danny Gregory.

39. I tried to get rid of my sadness from Britchida.

40. Choosing Death, “a break from perfection to come alive.”

41. The Deep and Beautiful Offerings of Being Alone, “And so many other reasons to read Jami Attenberg’s A Reason to See You Again.”

42. The Dutch ‘tile whipping’ competition to green gardens and streets. “The national tegelwippen contest seeks to restore greenery and help the Netherlands meet its climate targets.”

43. Cancel All Your Plans: A New Season Of ‘The Great British Baking Show’ Drops This Weekend.

44. Embracing Self-Compassion: How to Give Yourself More Grace.

45. List: Ways to donate and help flood victims in Western North Carolina after Hurricane Helene.

46. Andrea Love’s felted stop motion videos on This is Colossal.

47. Will the ‘SmartLess’ Podcast Be the Biggest Role of Their Careers? on The New York Times. (gift link) “Started during the pandemic, this venture is the first step in a media empire being built by the actors Sean Hayes, Will Arnett and Jason Bateman.”

48. This Is The Last Dog We’ll Ever Own. Here’s What He’s Taught Me About Love. “Two things can be possible at once. I can be eager for the next phase of my life to begin and wholly unprepared to let this one go.”

49. Stressed out? These 8 skills can help boost mood and reduce anxiety.

48. Indie-Rock Supernova. “Whip-Smart was supposed to be the album that made Liz Phair a superstar. Instead, we got something better.”

49. From The Office to Breaking Bad: what is the neuroscience of chronic TV rewatching? “Encountering nostalgia is like autoloading and hitting play on past positive experiences, elevating desire and regulating mood.”

50. 10 Unconventional Ways To Practice Real Self-Care by Courtney Carver on Be More With Less.

51. Demi Moore on “The Substance” and resisting a toxic beauty culture on CBS Sunday Morning.

52. Emma Thompson reading “Kindness” by Naomi Shihab Nye.

53. A Year of Horror: Palestine’s Cry for Humanity from Frederick Joseph, “Reflecting on Netanyahu’s expanding colonial terrorism since October 7th.” In related news, A year from Oct 7, tens of thousands killed and fears of a ‘forever war,’ “Hopes for peace have been shredded by a spiraling conflict that has brought the Middle East to the edge of all-out war.”

54. And this collection of random things I saved, (inspired by Kari’s What I Kept posts on A Grace Full Life).

1. My tiny family, small house, little life. I have been away too much this past year, making a trip to Oregon about every 3-4 months and staying each time for multiple days. The first time, that awful time when I went out to check on my dad’s health only to discover he was actively dying and needed at home hospice care, was the longest I had been away from Eric in the 31 years we’ve been married. Each trip that followed, except for the one in May when he and Ringo came with me, have been roughly the same amount of time away and similarly difficult. While I set the intention every time I go to show up, keep my heart open and really be there, I find that as soon as I arrive, my brain (and heart?) starts its ongoing chant: I want to go home.

2. Eric. When my dad was dying but still present enough to have a conversation of sorts, he asked me “Do you ever get tired of being with Eric?” I told him, “No, he’s my favorite person.” My dad responded, “I thought so.” Two days ago would have been my mom and dad’s 60th wedding anniversary, and while I aspire to that kind of longevity, when choosing a life partner I sought something very different than the marriage and life they had — and found it. Even though Eric is essentially working two jobs right now, he was still willing to let me leave, again, and take care of everything here while I was away — especially Ringo, who is the definition of “high maintenance.” He’s my soft place to land.

3. Ringo Blue. I read an article recently about the two easiest dog breeds to train, and Australian Cattle Dogs were one of the two. The article included a pretty funny disclaimer (funny because it’s true): “They’re smart, they’re motivated by praise, they’re motivated by toys, motivated by treats, you can teach them anything, [but] they’re not easy to live with. They are high drive, they’re intense, they want to work and be busy; they’re very, very difficult to live with.” He did one of my favorite things while I was away — found a toy on his walk and carried it all the way home.

4. Cooking and eating good food. When things are hard and I don’t know what else to do, I feed people. Mom hasn’t been too excited about eating recently because people have stopped bringing meals and it’s hard when you are caretaking to prioritize making a delicious meal because there’s just so much else to do and you are tired and if you didn’t plan ahead you are limited to the ingredients on hand and maybe you don’t have much cooking experience. So while I was there, I made sure to make some good food, things I know she likes, such as apple crisp and a fried chicken dinner with mashed potatoes and roasted carrots. One of my nieces also had a birthday that week and the other one had just had one the month before, so I made dessert — chocolate cupcakes for one and a vanilla cake for the other along with two kinds of ice cream, (They had Umpqua maple nut ice cream in Oregon! I can’t even find black walnut ice cream anymore in Colorado). I also have weird rituals about what I eat when I travel, like airport fast food and lots of snacks.

5. Practice. I was able to meditate, do a bit of yoga, and write morning pages while I was there, and that really helped me cope with a lot of big feelings and complicated, uncomfortable situations. I really notice the benefit of practice when I’m in a situation that requires a lot of patience and I’m able to sit with it and not freak out — such as the 4.5 hours I spend in the ER with my mom one evening or the 47 Hallmark movies I watched or all the times I repeated an answer to a question Mom had already asked 14 times or the “hurry up and wait” nature of traveling.

Bonus joy: the people who texted and messaged me and checked in while I was gone, the people who remembered the two tender anniversaries that happened while I was there, finding four assisted living/memory care places where I would feel good moving Mom, tying up loose ends, seeing the littles, hugging my nieces, hanging out with my brother and having his help doing some hard things, Mom’s wobbly soprano when she sang along to the music mix I’d made for Dad after he died, how Dad’s death healed parts of our history that never could have resolved with him still here, chicken strips, a crispy tart Gala apple, other people’s dogs, the Hallmark channel (Mom never really watched a lot of TV, but now that she can no longer read and isn’t as mobile, this channel soothes and entertains her no matter her mental state at any given time and I’m so grateful for that — there’s even an actor that we call “her Hallmark boyfriend”), Mom’s caregivers, gummies, the sunflowers Eric bought me, my own bed, texting, reading in bed at night while Eric and Ringo sleep,