November | 2017 | Open Space Practice, (AKA: A Thousand Shades of Gray)

Picture from our walk yesterday morning, and quote from a fortune cookie from our lunch the same day — which it turns out is actually wisdom from Guillaume Apollinaire, a French novelist who died in November of 1918

1. Modern Love 13-Word Love Stories from The New York Times.

2. Yoga in America Often Exploits My Culture—but You May Not Even Realize It. As a Buddhist, yoga teacher, and white woman, this is something about which I continue to cultivate awareness.

3. Captivating Kids Stories To Recognize Privilege. A great reading list, especially with the holidays coming up. #booksarethebestpresents In related news, ‘Open the doors and let these books in’ – what would a truly diverse reading list look like?

4. Saying ‘No Thanks’ to Lying to Kids about Thanksgiving. In related news, No Thanks: How Thanksgiving Narratives Erase the Genocide of Native Peoples, and Native American Girls Describe the REAL History Behind Thanksgiving (video), and The very first Thanksgiving looked a lot different than most of us realize (video).

5. This couple got married on the U.S.-Mexico border when it was opened for 3 minutes. (video) As I said when I shared this on Facebook: Fuck this shit. Fuck your wall. I mean y’all do realize we live on stolen land, right?

6. ‘This is such a scam’ — this senator won’t tolerate any bullsh*t about Trump’s tax plan. (video) In related news, Congresswoman masterfully exposes Trump tax scam as a giveaway… (video) This is the kind of thing I hope is happening in politics everywhere, behind every closed door, in every meeting and session — resistance.

7. Teachers Learn About Their Bias Towards Students. (video) “The ratio of white teachers to students of color is a national problem. This New York school district is training educators on how to talk about race, and address their own biases.”

8. Experience: my workout nearly killed me. Thank goodness my eating disorder and messed up notions about my body didn’t exist in the thick of the CrossFit era. I might be dead.

9. Recipes I want to try: (or an alternative title for this list, “many ways eat Brussels sprouts”), root vegetable gratin, and Bacon and Brussels Sprout Salad, and brussels sprouts, apple and pomegranate salad, Brussels Sprouts Gratin, and Brussels Sprouts with Pine Nuts and Parmesan, and Gingerbread Apple Muffins, and Cornbread 4 Ways. In totally related news, How To Make Brussels Sprouts Taste Way Better.

10. Confusing Malaise from PHD Comics.

11. This brave woman has something to say to her body shamers. (video) Fuck you and your fat phobia. Even if she weren’t doing a single thing to modify her body, she can put whatever she wants in her mouth, eat whatever she wants AND enjoy it. What you eat or what your body looks like is NOT a moral issue, and it’s certainly nobody else’s business. In related news, Seemingly Overweight Dancer Blows Audience Away With Epic Swing Routine. And again, I say: Fuck you and your fat phobia. And just to underline the point, Roxane Gay Wants You to See Fat People as Humans and Aidy Bryant Puts Fat Shaming In Its Place and Letting Go of “Health-ism” and Related Panic.

12. 10+ Neighbours Who Made The Neighbourhood More Interesting.

13. If music gives you goosebumps, your brain might be special. My brain is special. Maybe you’d already guessed that? 🙂

14. The amount of food we waste every year is absurd. (video)

15. Gentle Giant Adopts Tiny Rescue Owl, His Protective Ways Will Make Your Day.

16. These people received a special surprise for being kind. (video)

17. White People Are Smashing Their Coffee Machines to Show Support for Child Molestation. I wish people would just admit they are racist, misogynist bigots and stop pretending to be so righteous and offended. In related news, this is how you do it: Why Kaep Takes a Knee. (video) “Colin Kaepernick has been named ‘Citizen of the Year’ by GQ. Here’s a refresher on what Colin’s protest is all about.” The same kind of people smashing coffee machines were burning his jersey.

18. Food Psych #130: How to Fight Fatphobia in Woke Spaces with Melissa Toler. I didn’t get to listen to this yet, but it’s a great podcast, and Melissa Toler is doing really great work.

19. Lemonade for Love. (video) “This little girls kindness and generosity is so well needed in this world.”

20. This kid is so awesome. (video) “When Hurricane Harvey slammed into Dickinson, TX, 13-year-old Virgil Smith trudged into the water with an air mattress to transport his stranded neighbors to safety.”

21. An Ode To the Women Who are “Too Much”, which I found because Lindsey shared a quote and link on A Design So Vast.

22. Some things I’ve noticed… from Chaz Hutton.

23. Who knows who you’ll help? Susan Hyatt makes a really good point about the importance of doing what you do. “We’re all here to serve one another. Whether it’s through a blog post, an article, a business, a fundraiser, or some other project, we’re all here to serve humanity. So, go create and share. Please don’t hold yourself back. Because who knows who you’ll help?”

24. So You’ve Sexually Harassed Or Abused Someone: What Now? from Ijeoma Oluo. “You can never erase this, but you can repair some of the damage done, and the damage your inaction is currently doing. You can be a part of the solution. And you have to be. You owe it to your victims. You owe it to us all.” This wisdom applies, regardless of the specific wrong you’ve done. Also from Ijeoma Oluo and in related news, When You Can’t Throw All Men Into The Ocean And Start Over, What CAN You Do?

25. Five Science-Backed Strategies to Build Resilience.

26. ‘I’ve Always Queered That Normative Space’: A Q&A With Rhea Butcher and Cameron Esposito.

27. The Truth About Christmas: The Epic, Untold Story of the holiday’s True Origins. This is just one small example of why it’s so important to understand the origins of things, to know actual history, and to seek out the truth.

28. A Wrinkle in Time Official US Trailer.

29. Being better to your fat friend this thanksgiving.

This holiday, before you comment on how much you’ve eaten, the weight of your regret, your fears for the body you might grow into, your fears for the bodies around you, your anxiety about anyone eating too much, stay silent for a moment. Sit with how it feels not to say it. Sit with what you wanted to say. Ask why you wanted to say it. Ask who it would benefit.

30. Give Back To Black Women on Giving Tuesday.

Giving Tuesday is a national movement fundraising day that happens on Nov. 28th which focuses on altruistic giving, particularly in the online space. Like most structures impacted by systems of violence, Giving Tuesday has become monopolized by the Non-profit Industrial Complex. To make it plain: huge heirarchal non-profit organizations take up space and collect money that the very communities they proport to organize for never see. We are disrupting that model and centering Black Women and femmes. Join us in the work!

31. 100 questions to spark conversation & connection from Alexandra Franzen.

Last night, I watched the season finale of Better Things. I have (for a long time) the biggest crush on Pamela Adlon, and absolutely adore Duke (Olivia Edward). I was explaining later in a post on Facebook that this is a show I love, but also don’t always understand. It’s about a single mom raising three girls (a life nothing like my own), and at times it’s painful to watch, confusing. Bad things happen and their relationships, their lives are so complicated — but also so beautiful and tender and heartbreaking. This dance scene at the end of the final episode had me sobbing. I’ve rewatched the video at least ten times, listened to the Christine and The Queens album this song is from multiple times today.

I turned 50 years old today. That has weight. Any birthday with a zero at the end does, but this one in particular means something for me — something I still haven’t quite worked out. Part of it is that 50 is for certain the moment on the roller coaster when you are at the top of the arc and the drop begins, the moment the ground falls away beneath you and your stomach lurches into your throat and the car starts to fall, equal parts exciting and terrifying.

I’ve been in a weird place for the past year. I blame “the election.” It changed everything for me. My world view shifted two inches to the left and everything looked different. It’s taken a while to figure out where I am, which way is up. For a long while, I was in the weeds. I got busy at work, busy working towards understanding and acting in my life, and I wrote less and less here. Recently, I’ve only been posting twice a week — Something Good and Gratitude Friday.

I did a celtic cross tarot spread reading for myself today. I used all my decks: Wild Unknown, Animal Spirits, Body Cards, and Q Cards. Many layers and levels. Themes arose — about honoring myself, my vision, my strength, my determination, my inner wisdom. About trusting that I have support for the hard stuff, knowing I’m not alone. About needing to maintain balance through regular practice. About having clarity of seeing and knowing. About being on the cusp of a big decision. About being creative and having an impact. About connection and freedom. About solid ground and groundlessness. About courage, confidence, and magic.

I still don’t know what it all means, any of it. Life is tender and terrible, beautiful and brutal — and so confusing. I am feeling the truth of that old saying, “the more I learn, the less I know.” I want to practice, to write more, to work through it, to come here and share it with you, to connect. In the meantime, these lyrics knock around in my head, “I’m actually good / Can’t help it if we’re tilted.”