Pasque Flowers, image by Eric

1. Truth: Some days, some situations, some people can be so difficult that you want to give up. Sometimes pausing or taking a deep breath helps me, or trying harder to see things from another perspective, being curious and asking lots of questions, but honestly much of the time I have to walk away, take a break, remove myself. I have to, otherwise I might react, respond, reach out and pinch somebody, do something I’ll regret later.

2. Truth: More and more I’m realizing days have their own rhythm and I can’t change that. I used to try and push past it, force my way through it, struggle against it, attempt to control it. Now I am beginning to understand that there’s no sense in fighting it. If the energy of a day is “let’s get some shit done!” I work with it. If the energy of a day is “nothing is going to work out so you might as well relax,” I work with that. It’s all workable.

3. Truth: “The bad news is you’re falling through the air, nothing to hang on to, no parachute. The good news is there’s no ground,” (Chögyam Trungpa). Life is suffering, but freedom is possible. Nothing is okay, but everything is fine. Eric saw the first Pasque Flowers blooming and someone else sighted the season’s first rattlesnake. Life is tender and terrible, beautiful and brutal. I’m going to keep my heart open, as much as I can, and keep trying, not give up.

One wish (or many): May we have faith in our basic goodness. May the confidence in basic goodness that we cultivate give us the courage to do what has to be done. May we all find someone or something in our lives that is our soft place to land. May we love and let go.

“Just because,” he said.

1. Truth: Each day has its own energy. You can either fight it or “flow with the go.” Today’s energy seems to be “you really aren’t going to get a lot of new things done, so relax and be happy with what you’ve already accomplished.” Okay, Tuesday. Okay.

2. Truth: I seem to be having a run of good luck. I was invited to do a guest post for a blogger and a series I have loved as a reader, I was awarded a Superior ranking on my annual evaluation at CSU (fifth year in a row, the highest ranking you can get), Eric bought me flowers “just because,” and the sun is out.

3. Truth: Since I stopped dieting and overexercising, I feel so much better. I hadn’t realized until recently how much the cycle of starving and binging, pushing and punishing my body was ruining my health, my overall sense of wellbeing. That plus stress was making me miserable. I’m a bit heavier now, but I feel good.

One wish: May we tune into the energy of our body and our experience, and rather than resisting, running away, or ignoring what arises, may we open our hearts and allow what is.