gentleness | Open Space Practice, (AKA: A Thousand Shades of Gray)

1. Truth: You can’t do everything. Knowing this, there are decisions to be made. At first, this was easy for me. I had accumulated a lot of unnecessary clutter, and a few too many toxic people. In those first innocent days of simplifying, it was really clear what to stop doing, what to get rid of, who to avoid. Getting rid of all the should, have to, obligation, pleasing and performing, striving to be perfect, being bullied, and negative energy was easy once I got started. It was clear when saying “no” was really saying “yes” to something else, something more important and meaningful. Like Austin Kleon suggests in Steal Like an Artist:

image by austin kleon

It got harder when I had to start choosing between two things I wanted and loved, when I only had the time, space, and energy for one of them. That’s NOT so easy. Everything left after the first round of elimination is all desirable and loveable, worthy of my time and attention, but I can’t do everything.

2. There is enough time, and time is short. This seems like a brain teaser, and yet the truth of it is so clear. We all know exactly what it means. We don’t need to push, we can relax, but impermanence is real. This video is a perfect illustration of this truth.

Lotte Time Lapse: Birth to 12 years in 2 min. 45. from Frans Hofmeester on Vimeo.

3. Rest and relaxation are key, to balance out all the working and effort. I need to fully learn this, embody it. I need to learn to rest, to slow down, maintain balance. I am headed for a collapse if I don’t, and soon. I need to learn to use my brakes, stop and refuel. I need to pace myself, check myself before I wreck myself.

One wish: That we can all get boring and find the time, space, and energy for what we love most, and let go of what’s no longer working, and RELAX into what is, where we are, as we are, and never forget that gentleness is our superpower.

Forgive yourself.
You did the best you could.
You tried.
You made mistakes, bad choices, but you’ve learned.
There were moments when you were kind.
Be kind to yourself.

Forgive yourself.
Stop waiting for someone else to make you feel better.
Feel better.
And sit with it when you feel bad, sad, mad.
Your feelings are not the enemy.
Everything is workable.

Forgive yourself.
You have permission.
You are enough, there is enough.
The world is your oyster, the world is your sister.
Love is out there, and in here.

Forgive yourself.
Slow down.
Gentleness is your superpower.
There is strength in your quiet, your stillness.
Rest.

One of my favorite places is the Oregon Coast, and when I’m feeling tired or sad, I imagine our trip this summer, I close my eyes and see myself standing in the sand facing the water, and can hear the whisper of the surf, feel the spray.