Day of Rest

image by David Mao, from Unsplash

This morning I am contemplating something Tibetan Buddhist teacher Chögyam Trungpa said, “If you can hold the pain of the world in your heart but never forget the vastness of the great eastern sun, then you can make a proper cup of tea.” It means that if you can know in your bones, hold in your heart the reality that you are going to be uncomfortable, bad things will happen, and suffering is real, but also remember that babies are born, spring comes after winter, flowers bloom, art happens, music exists, there is chocolate and clean water and puppies and love, there is also comfort — if you can hold the pain and remember the magic, you can keep going, you can do what you need to do, you can be content, you won’t give up.

I saw this quote from Carl Jung on Facebook the other day, and I can’t stop thinking about it: “Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.” I have spent so many years looking to others for permission and approval, always having to check in with someone else to be sure I’m okay, needing to take a poll to figure out what to do next. I suppose if this brought me comfort, I wouldn’t question it, but instead I live with a constant anxiety, a low grade depression, a chronic sense of things not being right, of me not being right.

This quote helps to reframe the whole thing. There is no external information or affirmation that will bring me clarity, but if I stay with myself, I can wake up.