Open Space Practice, (AKA: A Thousand Shades of Gray)

On Tuesdays, I usually write a Three Truths and One Wish post. I don’t plan or draft these posts ahead of time. Their particular magic seems to be that I show up without an agenda, open up a new post and start writing, beginning with the three things that are true for me right at that moment. Based on those three truths, I end with some sort of wish. This Tuesday, I’m taking part in the Your Turn Challenge, and the day two prompt is, “Tell us about something that’s important to you.” So, I’m going to give you three truths that are important to me.

1. Truth: Cultivating compassion is the most important thing. That includes self-compassion. Compassion is the antidote to all the crud, the muck, the mess, the yuck, the ways that we generate suffering — judgement, criticism, discomfort, irritation, impatience, speed, busyness, dullness, laziness, distraction, anxiety, worry, disorder, neurosis, addiction, anger, hatred, aggression, all of it. And when I say compassion, I’m not talking about “being nice.” I’m not referring to idiot compassion. I don’t mean something that is weak or passive. Compassion, paired with its twin wisdom, is the most powerful force there is. It’s part of the reason we are so afraid of it.

2. Truth: The way to cultivate compassion is through practice. For me, practice is writing, yoga, meditation, and dog. I show up without agenda, connect with my innate wisdom and compassion, and keep my heart open no matter what might arise. I watch how I react, the ways that my mind wanders off or creates a story about what is happening. I notice the ways I generate suffering. I contemplate reality, attempting to know what is true underneath all my bullshit. Even though I have specific, regular and ongoing practices where I can do this directly, what I’ve realized is that everything can be practice, your whole entire life, every moment, every breath is the opportunity to practice.

3. Truth: The goal of practice is to embody compassion. To become a physical manifestation of wisdom and love, to become a being that acts always from that truth. Showing up in the world with an open heart. Letting what is touch you. Not resisting, rejecting, hiding, numbing or freaking out and running away. Doing our best to ease suffering, in ourselves and the world. Connected to our innate wisdom and compassion, we know just what to do, and we can keep our heart open to the contradiction that life is both tender and terrible, beautiful and brutal.

One wish: May we continue to cultivate and embody compassion, and through the merit of our practice may suffering be eased.

Day 1 prompt: Why are you doing the Your Turn Challenge?

#40 on my Something Good list today was the Your Turn Challenge. I wasn’t planning on doing it, but then my friend and fellow blogger Kirsten Akens said she was going to do it, and I changed my mind. Maybe it’s a case of FOMO (fear of missing out), but I love a good blog challenge. In fact, this blog was initially built on the commitment to an ongoing practice motivated by various 30 day challenges.

The 30 day challenges I’ve completed: Blogtober (twice), August Break (three times), Reverb (three times), January Mindful Writing Challenge, Small Stones (twice), August Moon, and NaBloPoMo. There may have been even more, but those are the ones I remember. Making that commitment to posting every day, no matter what, finding the time and figuring out something to say whether you felt inspired or not helped me develop a sort of determination and focus I’m not sure I could have any other way.

Blogging has been some of the best writing practice I could give myself. Writing knowing that people will read it is very compelling, both thrilling and terrifying. Blogging regularly has helped me find my voice, helped me figure out what I had to say. Being consistent and involved in a larger community has gifted me a group of kind and gentle readers, gives my writing a feeling of being in conversation, being part of a collective that shares a common goal. The way I see and show up in the world has shifted because of this practice. I notice and engage with things differently.

I’ve actually been accused of blogging too often. Friends who are also readers are frustrated because they can’t keep up. I understand, and yet I can’t stop myself. There are just too many days when there’s something I need to write about, and it feels like if I need to write it, maybe someone “out there” needs to hear it. In that sense, it would feel wrong not to share, not to publish, not to ship.

The reason to take part in this challenge, the one under the fear of missing out, is that I feel a shift attempting to happen. I’ve been meeting myself with a lot of resistance, engaging in what seems like unnecessary struggle. In yoga class this morning, my teacher focused on the notion of surrender. Not to mean “giving up,” but rather finding the places where you’ve created an obstacle and softening, relaxing your grip, letting go, allowing things to go as they will go rather than fighting reality or forcing your own agenda. “Flow with the go,” as I heard someone say recently. So the plan is to attempt to write myself through the resistance, to practice in an effort to relax, to surrender my agenda, and as always to show up with an open heart.