Open Space Practice, (AKA: A Thousand Shades of Gray)

Great Stupa of Dharmakaya, Shambhala Mountain Center

1. Fearlessly Creative Writing and Meditation Retreat with Susan Piver at Shambhala Mountain Center. This is the fourth time I’ve gone on retreat with Susan, and this was the best one ever. I wrote a lot, got to share some of it, spent time with Susan, and made a few new friends. I love that place so much.

2. Christmas!!! It is a bittersweet season for me, signaling the end of another year and reminding me that I live really really far away from the people I love the most. It’s lonely and sad, but also really sweet and beautiful. This song does the best at capturing the mood for me.

3. Good food. I tried two new recipes this year, and they both turned out really good: Awesome Sausage, Apple and Cranberry Stuffing and a biscuit breakfast bake (sort of like this recipe, but the one I followed called for 10 eggs and I used homemade cayenne biscuits). They both turned out really yummy.

4. Christmas cookies. I made these so many years for a cookie exchange that I got tired of them. However this year I found myself craving them, so made some. I promised I’d share the recipe, so here’s that:

400 degrees for 5-6 minutes (at high altitude, they need to cook a few minutes longer)
Makes 4-6 dozen, depending on size

1 1/2 cups butter
2 1/4 cups sugar
3 eggs
3 T. milk
1/4 tsp. lemon juice
3 3/4 cups flour
3/4 tsp. baking powder
3/4 tsp. salt

Cream first three ingredients together before adding the rest. Refrigerate complete mix overnight. Roll out to 1/4 inch thick, cut and bake. Frost when completely cooled with icing made from powdered sugar and water (I used 1/2 lemon juice for the liquid to make the icing for an extra zing of lemon).

They aren’t pretty, but they sure do taste good

5. Presents, which I’m about to go open with Eric.

6. But most of all, my tiny family. I wouldn’t be here without them.

Bonus joy: radio stations playing all Christmas music all the time, revisiting old Christmas favorites (we watched Die Hard and Home Alone, and today I’m going to watch Elf and Scrooged), heat when it’s cold outside, our fireplace DVD, twinkle lights, clean water, our new bathroom, the ability to buy a new washing machine or cellphone or even car if we need too without having to worry, texts from people who love or are thinking about me and just want to tell me, wool socks, the smell of pine trees, fresh snow.

The Great Stupa of Dharmakaya, Shambhala Mountain Center

1. Even though I haven’t been publishing as much of it here, I’ve been writing a lot. Last weekend I was at a writing and meditation retreat led by Susan Piver, and while I was there, I wrote and edited 12,000 words, (I was working on my book, which you may have heard me mention here before). I have so much to say, so much to tell you, kind and gentle reader, but right now so much of it is landing in that other container.

2. I understand now that as I writer, I need to live everything twice. I haven’t fully processed anything, don’t truly understand, and most certainly can’t let it go until I’ve written about it. Because of this, there are some very painful things I’ve lived in the past seven years that I’m not done with yet.

3. The theme for me recently seems to be “letting go.” I was reminded of it this morning as I went through my email. There was a message from Sherry at Simply Celebrate, a new blog post she’d written, {Permission Slip} Let it go!, in which she says, “I hereby grant you permission to stop doing things — especially things you really don’t want to do or are too tired to do — and allow yourself to simply enjoy the people you love.” And then a post from my friend Kat, who shares about making a brave transition in her writing life, It’s Time to Go. She was prompted by a painful experience, but is using it as motivation to take her power back. And a Daily Truth email from Brave Girls Club which reminds that it’s not only okay to let go, but necessary.

One wish: That we let go of whatever no longer serves us, that we process and understand that which we still carry with us and finally are able to let it go too, that we sink into a season of quiet and rest (even if just for a few days) in which we allow ourselves to enjoy those we love, and may we remember to include ourselves in that love.