From our walk this morning

1. Truth: It’s good to be home. I was sitting on my meditation cushion this morning while Eric and the dogs lounged on the couches in the other room, with John Jay & Rich on the radio in the background and the whole house fan pulling fresh cool air in from outside where a warm wind was blowing and the birds where singing, and it washed over me, “I’m so glad to be home.”

2. Truth: It’s hard to let go of some things. I’ve had the urge to purge ever since we got back from vacation, and yesterday I tackled a small built-in bookshelf in our living room where we keep DVDs, CDs, old VHS tapes, and apparently remotes to things we don’t even own anymore. I dusted and got rid of two shelves worth of things. It was hard to let go of some of them. For example, even though I know I can access just about any music I want online and only one of our cars has a CD player, it’s still hard to get rid of the CDs I’ve been collecting for so many years. As I looked through them, there were bands I’d forgotten about, that I loved, still love — K’s Choice, Everything But the Girl, Luther Vandross, LTD, Donna Summer, Go West, and so many more. Last year for Christmas, Eric burned almost all of those CDs onto one of our computers so I’d have copies of everything without needing to keep the actual hard copy, but I hadn’t been able to get rid of them yet. Yesterday, I did, along with a bunch of stuff that hadn’t made it back into our linen closet yet after having redone our bathroom.

3. Truth: Even though letting go is hard, I usually feel better once I do. I feel so much lighter, clearer, more peaceful without all that extra shit lying around gathering dust and making me feel bad. If I really don’t need it, letting it go makes room for something else, even if that something else is simply space. And if I lose a memory because I no longer have a thing to remind me, I supposed I have to be okay with that too.

One wish: May we all have a space to go home to, that feels comfortable and safe, that contains the things most precious to us, and may we let go of everything else with ease.

1. Truth: I’m sad to leave, AND ready to go home.  I know I said the same thing last week, but it’s still true. The only difference is that I might be a little more ready to go home now than I was a week ago.

2. Truth: This summer may from now on be known as the “things aren’t always as bad as they seem” vacation. This trip was filled with a lot of yuck, some of which turned out to not be as terrible as first thought, and other stuff that seems hard now but might end up being for the best. In the moment, it can feel so claustrophobic and unworkable, but with some time and distance and a little more information, it might not be so bad after all. All I can do is keep trying, not give up.

3. Truth: I couldn’t do any of this without Eric. I couldn’t afford this vacation, I couldn’t drive for two days with two dogs to get here, and I certainly couldn’t meet any of the confusion and challenges of life without his support and good cheer. Okay, I probably could — but why?

One wish: Wherever we travel and whatever we encounter, may we meet it with good cheer and wisdom and compassion, and may we have friends and loved ones to support us along the way. And because this week seems to warrant an extra wish, I offer you this metta (loving kindness) practice from Anam Thubten:

May we be safe from inner and outer harm,
may we be free from guilt, shame, and hatred,
may we enjoy mental and physical well being,
may we live with the ease of an open heart,
may we go beyond our inner darkness,
and awaken to our radiant true nature as boundless love.

May we express loving kindness toward each other so that war, conflict and every form of strife come to an end, allowing peace and harmony to pervade the entire world.