1. Truth: Everyone has a unique perspective. This morning, I watched this Instagram reel. Both the video and the caption are powerful reminders that, “Understanding that other points of view exist is the beginning of wisdom.” It reminded me of the comic where there is a number on the ground with two people standing on either side of it. One claims it’s a 6 and the other insists it’s a 9. Both of them are “right,” they simply are seeing things from a different angle. It’s good to remember that individually, we don’t have all the answers, don’t see the full truth of things, don’t possess an entire or complete awareness or understanding. It’s good to be curious, to try and understand things from different perspectives, AND to understand why you might see things the way you do, AND to not see any way as fixed or solid or True. (Of course, there are extreme perspectives that fall outside this logic).

2. Truth: Other people and their perspectives inspire us. I watched another Instagram reel this morning from Hadley Vlahos, a hospice nurse who just published a book of stories from her work, what she’s learned by caring for people who are dying, and in it she talked about the two kinds of people who inspire us: those we want to be like and those who show us how not to be. Both are equally inspiring and maybe you need both to find your path somewhere in the middle. One encourages you to keep showing up and moving forward, and the other keeps you from getting stuck or lost and quitting.

I was also thinking about this after hearing of Sinéad O’Connor’s passing. Even though the family’s statement didn’t share a cause of death, based on her honesty about her lifelong struggles, it’s hard not to guess at why she’s gone. It made me think about how some of the people who inspire us, who make art that makes us feel less alone and keep us from giving up, feel so alone and sad that they give up. Sometimes what the good ones do for us they can’t do for themselves and that’s incredibly sad.

3. Truth: You can trust yourself. I had a decision to make yesterday so I did a Yoga Nidra practice to get into a relaxed enough state that I could hear the truth of what I wanted. (Not trying to be cryptic: My Sunday morning yoga class needs a new regular teacher. I was invited to take over and I was trying to decide if I wanted to take it on.) I didn’t immediately have clarity because it was so nice to be asked, to be seen as qualified, as “good enough.” Also, pre-covid, eventually teaching more was my intention. And yet, it wasn’t an immediate and wholehearted “yes.” During my yoga nidra practice, I had the sense of things falling into place around me, a return or a restart, a clear path, which I could have easily mistaken as meaning I should say yes. As I reflected more on it, I remembered that I am fundamentally wise and compassionate, and therefore can find my way simply by trusting myself. To make the decision, all I had to do was check in with what I really wanted, and it turns out it’s something other than teaching more yoga.

One wish: My wish for you, kind and gentle reader, is for you to trust yourself, to allow yourself to rest in a state of curiosity and self-awareness, and to never forget that you matter, that there most likely is someone out there who was or is inspired by you to keep going, keep trying, keep showing up with their heart open, to not give up. 

1. I’ve spent a lot of my life giving all my best away. There’s nothing inherently wrong with this except when I manage to leave myself with nothing, just scraps, crumbs, remnants. I was led to believe that everyone did the same and that resulted in a system of “give your best/receive the best from others.” I saw it as transactional in that way, karmic even, that you would get what you give (even to the point of it multiplying when it comes back to you, “tenfold”), or as the bible put it, “Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”

2. I had it wrong and got lost, turned around. For all kinds of reasons, you can’t count on reciprocity. Sometimes it happens but often what you are offered (if anything) isn’t exactly enough or exactly right, isn’t what you need, falls short. And even in relationships where it happens on occasion (you getting what you need) there are still seasons where the balance is off. Even in healthy, sane relationships there are times where one just doesn’t have the capacity and the other needs to pick up the slack — which makes me think of that great poem “A Marriage” by Michael Blumenthal. And of course there are those whose own suffering means they take but won’t give back in equal measure (if at all), won’t show up, won’t stick around.

3. I’m practicing being myself and giving my best. I can show up for those I love, for those with a need I’m able to meet, AND I can take the very best care of myself — which sometimes means a clear boundary with someone who disregards who you are and what you need. I can come home to myself, call my energy back. I can stay close to those who are here for me, and for those who aren’t I can love them from afar, wish them well and release them.

One wish: May you be surrounded by people who show up and are present even in the boredom and discomfort and not knowing, and may those relationships be mutually beneficial. For those who aren’t able to go there with you, to stay, may they find what they need elsewhere. May your tender heart recognize those who are steady and ready and respond accordingly, loving those who can love you and letting go with love of those who can’t.