1. Practice. I had a really hard week, and some of the things that saved me were a guided meditation to ease anxiety, teaching my yoga class at Red Sage, and writing with my Friday morning sangha.

2. Morning rest in the blue light with the blue dog. There were no morning walks because Ringo has been struggling with some pain in his back end, and we’ve been resting him and working with his “team” to get it sorted.

3. Sometimes comfort is a loaf of cinnamon swirl bread from The Bread Chic. Sometimes, it is an emergency therapy session. Sometimes it is a nap. Sometimes it is a good cry. Sometimes it is a poem. Sometimes it is a warm shower. Sometimes it is a hug in the kitchen. Sometimes it is a slow drive around the cemetery with all the windows rolled down. Sometimes it is texting with Chloe’ and Chris, without even telling them you are struggling. Sometimes it’s a massage with Dana where you tell her exactly all the ways you are struggling. Sometimes it is watching part of a movie. Sometimes it is listening to a podcast or some Teddy Swims loud in the car with all the windows rolled down even if it means you have to turn on the heat. Sometimes it is drinking a can of grapefruit Bubly sparkling water. Sometimes it is canceled plans. Sometimes it is not finishing the book you are reading and starting another. Sometimes it is sending what feels like the perfect gift through snail mail. Sometimes it’s butter or cheese or something salty. Sometimes it’s your dog’s vet seeing that you are worried and saying something, and then telling you, “I’ll take care of him like he’s my own dog, without all the crying” and knowing for sure she’s telling you the truth. Sometimes it’s making a joke and other times it’s keeping quiet. I’m grateful for all the forms it takes.

4. Lounging in the sun in the backyard with your dog. Am I aware that all the sun and warmth we’ve had this winter is bad news, that it’s going to lead to dry ground and increased fire danger and too much heat this summer? Yup. Do I know that it is a sign of the climate crisis, soon to be apocalypse? Yes, absolutely. Would I rather have colder temperatures and lots of snow? For sure. Did I allow myself to enjoy it anyway. Yes, yes I did.

5. My tiny family, small house, little life. Like I said, this week and honestly the week before it were so hard, but still, there’s no one I’d rather do it with, no one I’d rather do my life with, including all the hard parts.

Bonus joy: Annie’s mac & cheese, burritos, toast, pay day, a big glass of cold clean water, Ringo out in the backyard barking, Ringo’s “team” of doctors, getting in the pool, sitting in the sauna, chatting with Sally, citrus, pickled red onions, texts from Monica and Cynthia and Jessamy, the things I brought home from Mom’s that I see and use at my house now, a hot cup of coffee and warm mug of tea, finding tiny pockets of calm, tiny brass animals — the ones I’ve kept and the ones I’ve given away, online shopping, listening to comedy albums at night with Eric instead of watching TV (not that I have anything against watching TV), video shorts on YouTube, tortilla chips, plantain chips, how I always feel better after doing yoga, that tiny corgi walking by our house as I was leaving today who I said “hi” to and how happy it made her person, other people’s kids and pets, Ringo’s appetite, the riot of bird song in the backyard, to be known and loved anyway, making each other laugh, ice cubes, naps, libraries and librarians, poetry and poets, comedy and comedians, music and musicians, stickers, blank notebooks and pens with refillable ink, downloading books from the library onto my Kindle, reading in bed at night while Eric and Ringo sleep.

1. Morning walks. We had a few really cold mornings this week. One included a slight dusting of snow and another didn’t happen until 11 am because it was so cold.

2. Fort Collins Food Co-op opened in its new location. Beavers Market, only half a mile from my house, was operated by the Beavers family from 1976 until 2021. On their final day open, the family posted a statement on Facebook, a letter to their customers, that said, in part, “We have reached a point in our lives where it is time to say goodbye to the long hours and responsibility of owning and operating the store and say hello to our next chapter of life. Please know that this is one of the most difficult things we have ever done. The store, our employees and our customers have meant everything to us, and it is extremely bittersweet to say goodbye. We have poured our hearts and soul into Beavers Market and words will never express how much it means to us and to our family. We thank you from the bottom of our hearts for being part of our journey.”

I can’t overstate how beloved this little market was in our community, a place where the bigger chain stores could have easily made it impossible for them to survive. It had an extra special place in my heart because as soon as I walked inside, I traveled back in time to the small neighborhood family owned market in my little town where I grew up, Ditter’s Market in Sublimity, Oregon, which opened in 1890 as a drug store and tobacco shop but branched out into general merchandise a few years later. I never got over my amazement at how similar the two stores were, and now, neither one of them is still there.

New owners who had a tiny chain of other stores across the U.S., four total including Beaver’s, promised to keep things the same, but that didn’t happen and the new market never really thrived and finally closed down just four years later. It was sad, but it had never really replaced Beavers, so maybe it was finally the end of an era, time to let go of that simpler, sweeter time.

Which is why we were so surprised and pleased when it was announced that the local food co-op, itself serving Fort Collins since 1972, bought the building and announced they’d be moving in. It was an added bonus that they kept the Beavers logo for their marketing and merchandise, as well as the same commitment to serving the community that was the heart of Beavers Market. The co-op is also a beloved part of the community, so the marriage of its mission and the Beavers location is a particular kind of perfection. I’d been a member of the original co-op location back in the late 90s, but we’d moved away from Fort Collins and just never joined again. The day the co-op opened in the Beavers location, I once again happily became a member.

3. Reddit. I don’t always love it, because anywhere a lot of people congregate and share their opinions and preferences and struggles can get to be too much for me very fast. However, I’ve had lots of questions about things lately, have wanted to hear a collection of diverse opinions and experiences and get some advice, and it’s really one of the best places on the internet to find such a thing.

4. Online, on demand streaming content. Do I have too many subscriptions? Yes, yes I do. And yet, being able to find an old clip of one of your favorite skits from The Carol Burnett show, or watch a new comedy special or blooper reels or movie trailers, or listen to a podcast, or hear a bedtime story read by your favorite gay grandpa who lives in the mountains and looks a whole lot like Santa, or listen to your new favorite song over and over and over and over… it’s a good thing.

5. My tiny family, small house, little life. Things are good here, always so good.

Bonus joy: a warm shower, groceries, cleaning out a cabinet or two, putting out the trash, a big glass of cold clean water, Reese’s eggs, avocado, pickled red onions, scrambled eggs, writing with my Friday morning sangha, the dogs and humans who were at Red Sage for yoga this week, the pictures of Jon and Chelsey and their new place (even though I miss them), texting with Chloe’ and Chris, FINALLY texting with Carrie (I didn’t really give her a choice, I bombarded her with GIFs until she texted me back), other people’s kids and dogs, reading and writing in the morning with a few mugs of hot drinks, libraries and librarians, poets and poetry, comedy and comedians, the riot of bird song in the morning, making each other laugh, slow and steady, naps, reading in bed at night while Eric and Ringo sleep.