I can’t believe we got them to sit still and look in the general direction of the camera

1. Merry everything, happy always. We had a lovely, quiet and calm celebration, opened presents, cooked and shared and ate lots of good food, listened to Christmas music, took naps, and watched “Elf.”

2. I’m retired. On our walk this morning, I felt that familiar post-Christmas anxiety, that sinking feeling, the awareness that no matter how rested or good I was feeling, I was going to have to go back to work and that was going to ruin it. Then I remembered I’m retired and never have to go back.

3. The best Christmas present I can’t even tell you about. A dear friend recently got something they’ve wanted for such a long time. When I found out and tried to tell Eric, I burst into tears but was laughing at the same time. He said he’s never seen someone do that before, and it’s never happened to me, that particular mix of grief over everything they’ve been through, joy about what’s possible, and relief that the long dark night of waiting just might be over.

4. Eric is really good at gift giving. There were two giant boxes under the tree and he told me even if I guessed a million guesses, I’d never figure it out. He was right, two brass herons for my garden. He also buys me at least a few gifts just because he knows they’ll make me laugh.

5. My tiny family. My favorites.

Bonus joy: texting with my brother, cute pictures of his tiny family, talking to my mom on the phone, hanging out with Chloe’ and Mikalina, breakfast with Carrie, aqua aerobics, sitting in the sauna with Eric, naps, clean sheets, Christmas dinner leftovers for days, the new pen Eric bought me, good TV (Season 3 of Better Things is streaming on Hulu, and I accidentally started watching season one and it was so good I decided to rewatch the first two seasons before starting the new one), Amazon gift cards so I can load up my Kindle with more books, reading in bed at night while Eric and the dogs sleep, therapy, my new favorite super soft pj pants that are my self-employed introverted hsp uniform, yoga, meditation, writing, morning walks with Eric and the dogs.

Merry everything, happy always

1. Winter holiday season. This year it’s been especially lovely for me. In years past, I spent the weeks before scrambling to get CSU work finished before heading out for a 4-6 day writing and meditation retreat and scrambling either just before I left or just after I got back to get presents bought, wrapped, and shipped, and even with all that effort, usually because of the dates of the retreat, I’d miss being home for Eric’s birthday. This year NONE of that happened. I wasn’t working, I didn’t go on retreat, and I had all the presents bought, wrapped and shipped by Eric’s birthday, which we celebrated together. Then I found myself with a whole week left to enjoy the anticipation of the big holiday without any of the stress and speed. I could get used to this.

2. Holiday traditions with Eric. We got a tree again this year, only our 3rd or 4th one, and last night we went to a holiday themed show at the Lincoln Center, a venue only 10 minutes away from our house. I was way into Mannheim Steamroller in high school. That said, Eric and I went to their Christmas show last night, and it was one of the weirdest things I’ve ever experienced. Like at one point I leaned over and said to Eric, “if I were high right now, I’d be so freaked out.” It was like a Christmas rave. The light show and supplemental video was bonkers (at one point in the show, a song ended and the entire audience was so distracted by the accompanying video, no one clapped), and even though it was a Christmas themed concert, the arrangements were so fantastic, I didn’t even recognize most of it. Good show, just bonkers. We’ve been watching holiday themed TV at night and listening to Christmas music. We’ll go out for Chinese food at our favorite restaurant on Christmas eve. I went to the grocery store today to get most of what we need for Christmas dinner before things get too busy, and even though I forgot my list at home and Eric was napping so couldn’t text me a picture of it, I got everything but two items.

3. Flowers in the bathroom, holiday themed.

4. Teaching holiday themed yoga. My Tuesday class was one of the last ones most of my regular class would be at, so we had some fun renaming poses (downward dog became “downward reindeer”) and making up some moves (“snow angels” and “dancing reindeer”), listening to Christmas music, and sharing gifts. It was fun.

There’s a container of cheddar biscuits on the counter and they are trying convince me they are “for dogs”

5. My tiny family. They are the best.

This little dude turned 52 this week. This is him in a suit his mom made for him, and it’s one of my favorite pictures.

Bonus joy: hanging out with Mikalina, writing with Carrie, talking to my mom, running into friends I haven’t seen in a while, grocery shopping (I know, I’m weird like that), having all the laundry done even if it’s not quite put away, the twinkle of Christmas lights in the dark, texting with my brother, finding a present the two year old liked, good TV (even if it’s sort of dumb, or maybe especially if it’s sort of dumb because sometimes that’s all you can handle and exactly what you want), good books (I’m finishing The Night Circus), impeachment (even though I don’t actually want him removed because Pence is just as bad just more sneaky about it, and I’m not feeling hopeful he won’t get reelected, but at least there has finally been some shred of consequence for his actions), a good Pilates class, the pool and sauna finally reopening, a massage, a big salad, good bread.