Category Archives: Fear

Strength Training

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Facing your fear, confronting your grief, softening to strong emotions and relaxing with discursive thoughts, staying with reality rather than getting hooked by a story or grasping at hope, letting go, surrendering instead of running away or rejecting or numbing out, is like lifting weights, like strength training–-the more you do it, the stronger you get, the more solid your confidence and courage become, the more open and whole your heart, the more complete and fulfilling your life.

And when the next wave of pain or suffering comes, it’s not so likely to knock you down. You will be less apt to freak out or fall over. You might even find that the strength of your core, the power of your presence is such that you stand as it washes over you, heart open and mind calm and surrounded by love even as your heart breaks.

The point is: the bad stuff won’t stop coming, won’t go away. There is no safe place, no ground to stand on that won’t continue to shift and change under your feet. What will happen is you will be able to stay with it, clarity and compassion and wisdom will arise, and you will find yourself rising up to meet it, strong and tender even if you are terrified.

You’ve got this. You know what to do. You are loved and you are not alone.

Gratitude Friday

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This post is a mashup of The Little Bliss List and Joy Jam, and as such is meant to celebrate: the little things that brought me hope and happiness this week, the sweet stuff of life, those small gifts that brought me joy this week. By sharing them, I not only make public my gratitude, but maybe also help you notice your own good stuff and send some positive energy out into the world.

1. Some relief from fear. I kept getting stuck there in these past few weeks, but in the last few days, my mind has relaxed a bit, some of the tension has left my body, and I’m grateful.

2. Yoga. This practice gets me moving when I’m stuck, is medicine. My teachers and classmates are unafraid of my grief and my fear. It’s a safe container for whatever arises, offers a way to work with it.

3. Meditation instructors, Wanda (my local MI) and Susan Piver (my mostly virtual MI). They are both so kind and so wise, such a gift when things get hard, when what I’m experiencing feels so much bigger than the state and skill of my practice.

4. My family. Eric, my dogs, both sets of Moms and Dads, my brother and my nieces all offer love, a sense of belonging, and joy that is such a comfort to me.

5. My class. It has been such a wonderful distraction. My students are funny and smart, engaged and present.

Bonus Joy: Dexter’s health and happiness. He might be dying, but for now his suffering is minimal. I’m so grateful for that. And bonus to the bonus joy, last night he got in bed with me and cuddled, slept next to me almost all night. He hasn’t done that in a long time, not since we got Sam and he decided to “get his own apartment,” (sleep on the couch), and I miss it.