jillsalahub

Reverb13 prompt: This is the second one I wrote for Kat, “The Buddha said, ‘You, yourself, as much as anybody else in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.’ In the past year, I have been on a mission to understand and practice self-compassion, which is sometimes defined as ‘extending compassion to one’s self in instances of perceived inadequacy, failure, or general suffering,’ and what I have learned has made me realize that this practice is at the heart of everything. How will you practice self-compassion?”

I will honor my hunger and fullness.
I won’t diet or weigh myself.
I will continue to make peace with food, respect my body, feel my feelings, soothe and comfort myself in ways that are sustainable.
I will stop and take a breath (or many), be in stillness and quiet.
I will move my body the way it wants to move, with joy and love, with freedom.
I will seek pleasure, indulge.
I will trust my own wisdom, intuition, experience.
I will make an effort to ease my suffering.
I will honor my own power, authority, voice, truth.
I will practice self-care, provide what I want and need, not abandon myself.
I will stop “shoulding all over myself,” smashing myself to bits, and when I forget I will forgive myself.
I will drop judgement, criticism, attachment.
I will make space, a clearing, an opening, a way in and a way out.
I won’t apologize for myself.
I will take up space, show up, speak up, be seen.
I will love the crap out of myself.
I will start over, let go and come back, begin again, take a fresh start as many times as it takes.

Project Reverb prompt: “Personality | Were you an extrovert or an introvert this year? Why? Is that normal for you? Or a switch from previous years?”

This prompt confuses me a little. If you define these types the way I understand them — introverts get energy from being alone and extroverts gain energy by being around lots of people — then you can’t just change your type. It’s not like getting a haircut or moving to a new address. I understand these to be more like the color of your eyes or your height, set and unchangeable. Sure you can get colored contacts or wear high heels or lifts, but ultimately you can’t change these things about yourself.

I’m a highly sensitive introvert, which makes me even more fixed in terms of what I need in order to thrive. I get easily overwhelmed by too much noise, light, movement, too many people, and I need time alone in the quiet to recuperate, to restore my energy, to soothe my system. But being an introvert doesn’t automatically mean that I’m shy or socially awkward (although, I can be pretty weird). I’m a teacher, I travel to attend workshops and retreats, belong to multiple social groups, and come from a big family, I just have to balance those things with time alone and quiet.

Reverb13 prompt: “I am often surprised where I find peace, it is usually in the midst of chaos. In the midst of living, did you find moments to breathe? Were there moments that held you in the embrace of peace and quiet and pure contentment? Did these moments catch you by surprise or did you create the space for peace to find you?”

Every time Dexter and I played, or he cuddled next to me, or we hung out in the back yard, or we went for a walk, or we went to his physical therapy appointments which he loved, or he got in bed and slept with us, the way he looked at me, so happy and in love, every time he sighed — all of the times this past year when he was still with us and he wasn’t suffering.

When I sleep in, and Sam gets up to eat breakfast and go potty, but then gets back in bed with me, runs down the hallway to get there as fast as he can.

Putting yogurt, granola, almonds, and raspberries in a bowl in the morning when I’m hungry. Crunchy, sweet, creamy, satisfying.

Standing in the kitchen, listening to the radio and leaning into Eric, holding each other, Sam’s head pushed between our legs, his tail wagging.

Taking a long walk along the river in the morning, with Eric and Sam or just Sam, camera in my pocket, those moments when the sun is rising and it’s so beautiful I want to tell the whole world to wake up, hurry and get out here, you’ve got to see this, but I let them sleep, and I sink into the quiet, standing still, looking up at the sky, amazed and grateful.

Shavasana after a really good yoga class.

The moments lost in creating something, when time no longer measures anything.

Project Reverb prompt: “Wear it out | What piece of clothing did you wear again and again all through out the year? Why? Is it all worn out? Are you going to replace it or keep wearing it?”

I didn’t wear my purple fleece robe all through the year, since there’s a season when it would be too warm, but I wore it quite a bit. Eric bought it for me more than ten years ago and it’s perfect. It has adapted to my various weights and moods, is easily washed, is the perfect thickness and softness and length and color. It has wrapped me in warmth and comfort through some really hard times of grief and sadness and depression, as well as being useful during better times. It is simple, functional, clearly durable, and a long time favorite. I have no plans to replace it if I don’t have to.

Besottment Reverb 2013 prompt: “Did you visit any place that holds special meaning to you in 2013? If so, where was it, when did you go and why is it special to you? If not, were you avoiding somewhere? Why? Is there some place you visited for the first time that now holds meaning for you that you hope to revisit in the future? Keep in mind it can be a place, city, country, restaurant, part – anything – even a memory.”

27 Powers Court. As I have said before, this location is magic. It reminds me of when I finally took my meditation practice seriously enough to create a shrine. I knew that it would enhance my practice, but what surprised me is how that sacred space came with me when I left my meditation cushion, that I carried it with me, took it out into the world, a warm glow in the center of my chest that hummed with energy. 27 Powers Court is like that. It’s a retreat center with resident and visiting animals and amazing cooks and places to cuddle or escape to and rest, a safe container for truth telling, a gathering place for fiercely compassionate and open-hearted teachers and students, the warm and welcoming home of a friend, home for the ebb and flow of the sweetest little family, a soft place to land.