Author Archives: jillsalahub

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About jillsalahub

Writer & Contemplative Practice Guide holding space for people cultivating a foundation of a stable mind, embodied compassion and wisdom. CYT 500

Gratitude Friday

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awakeintheworld1. Awake in the World. I’m pretty sure you can still sign up for this, even though it’s now day two of five. I think Lodro and Susan (pictured above in the opening night video) said 23,000 people had signed up.

2. A surprise (to me) Jonatha Brooke concert. I feel enough gratitude for this one that it could be the only thing on this list, and every list for the next month. Thursday afternoon, I got a Facebook message from a new friend. She said, “Totally last minute…but is there any chance you’d want to go to a concert tonight? It’s part of Bohemian Nights. A lady I met at a retreat 2 yrs ago (from NYC) is here tonight. Her name is Jonatha Brooke. She’s a singer-songwriter type.” I had to read it two or three times, and then get online and check to be sure I was reading it right. Jonatha Brooke?! She’s only one of my favorite artists! How did I not know she was coming to town?! Well, I know why. When her new show and album came out, My Mother has 4 Noses, (which I helped fund), I wanted to see it so bad, but she was mostly playing it on the east coast with a few dates in California. I gave up after a while, stopped checking, stopped carefully reading her newsletter when it showed up in my inbox. But it worked out, I got to go, and it was amazing. She signed CDs after the show, so I stuck around, told her how much I adore her, hugged her and thanked her. It was magic, medicine.

Her music always makes me cry. She sings with such fierce gentleness from such a deep, authentic place, and sometimes it punches me right in the gut. I tried to hold it together during the concert, but these two songs broke me open.

3. My tiny family — Eric, Sam, and Ringo Blue. They are a constant comfort. They make me laugh and remind me that life is beautiful, even thought it hurts.

4. Fall food. Various squashes, roasted vegetables, soup, and this Autumn Couscous from the Whole Foods deli that I can’t stop eating.

autumncouscous5. My HappyLight. I’m not sure what I’d do without it this time of year. I sit in front of it every morning as I write, and it takes the edge off the dark.

Bonus joy: coffee with a new friend, two new workshops scheduled, TV (even though I maybe watch too much), Big Magic and Justine’s read-a-long, fall color, a good rain jacket and umbrella, the bathroom remodel kick off (*gulp*, they are coming to demo on Monday morning!), the ability to choose even when I don’t make the best choices, America’s Test Kitchen and all the recipes from them that have made my mouth and belly so happy.

Three Truths and One Wish

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fallcolors1. “I love you, but I’m letting you go.” Not you, kind and gentle reader. Not this blog either. It’s something that Elizabeth Gilbert posted on Facebook this morning, something I was just talking about with a new friend yesterday afternoon. I need space in my life, need to ease up, but it’s complicated because the things I would need to start saying no to are things I love, things that are brilliant and wonderful, things I want to experience and do, but if I’m being honest, things I can’t fit into the finite, limited amount of time I’m alloted. I can’t do ALL THE THINGS. Elizabeth ends her post by saying, “I don’t know what the thing is (or things are) that you need to start saying no to, in order to live the life you keep saying you want. But I have a suspicion that perhaps YOU know. Is it maybe time?” *sigh*

2. I struggle with three types of laziness, sometimes all three at once. These are the kinds of laziness referred to in my Buddhist practice tradition. Adreanna Limbach gives the best description I ever heard of them. She says the three types are: having a lack of vision, speedy business, and disheartenment. We forget our intention, why we’ve said “yes” to something in the first place, lose our sense of purpose, and this can make us feel stuck, apathetic. Or, in a culture which sees productivity as a virtue, we fill up our time doing things that aren’t in line with our vision, our intention, our mission, and we treat busyness as a badge of honor. And finally, we might feel unworthy or disappointed in our efforts and lose patience, maybe even give up.

3. Luckily, there are antidotes to my behavior, this laziness. I can reconnect with my intention. I can sit with myself, sink into my own innate wisdom and consider what I might need to let go of, what I really want. I can prioritize what really matters, give it my attention and time, and say no to everything else — “I love you, but I’m letting you go.” I can show up and practice with joyful effort, become a “deeply disciplined half-ass,” having faith that the seeds I plant will come to fruition. And when I feel tired, I’ll rest. And when I feel like giving up, I won’t.

One wish: To reconnect with my intention and have clarity about the letting go, making space for what really matters.