
1. Truth: I’m in shock, still. It’s not that I am surprised by the outcome of the presidential election. It’s not that kind of shock. What I feel is the kind you experience after a trauma, something akin to being in a car wreck or getting a cancer diagnosis. It feels a lot like the beginning of COVID, in those initial days of the quarantine when everything first shut down and we didn’t really know what was going to happen, how many we were going to lose, when or how it might end — if ever. I feel that same terror of those early days, that same urge to stock up on toilet paper and stay far away from people. At times I feel helpless, hopeless. In these moments, it’s extremely difficult to keep going, to not shut down and give up.
2. Truth: I’m disappointed in the process, in people. Just one personal example: our across the street neighbors have rented here for about six years with their two kids and four dogs, (renting because even though they both work, they can’t afford to purchase a house), and have up to recently we’ve considered them really good neighbors. The wife and I have each other’s numbers and text from time to time. She tells her kids, one in junior high and one in high school, that if they are home and their dad is gone and she’s at work (she’s a caregiver at an assisted living facility) and anything happens, if they need help or a safe place, to come to our house. This past summer when we went to Oregon, we hired their son to mow our lawn (we knew he’d do a good job because his dad keeps their yard so nice), even loaned them a key to the house just in case. When we got back, along with the money we’d promised we brought some cool fossils we’d found for him on the beach and gave his parents a gift certificate for groceries because we knew they’d helped take care of things, had kept an eye on our house for us while we were away. On the morning after the election, I looked across the street at their house, and this is what I saw.

When they first moved in, we had a yard sign up that I got the first time DT got elected, so our beliefs and values are no secret to them. That sign got worn down by the sun and weather and essentially crumbled in my hands one day when I went to adjust it. I hadn’t been in a big hurry to replace it. After much thought about how to respond to what felt like a very personal message, considering this was the view out my front window, I bought a new flag — and made sure it is in clear sight of the neighbors.


3. Truth: The only way forward is to take care of ourselves and each other. A prophecy from Hopi Elders in June 2000 offers this call to action:
Where are you living?
What are you doing?
What are your relationships?
Are you in right relation?
Where is your water?Know your garden.
It is time to speak your truth.
Create your community.
Be good to each other.
And do not look outside yourself for your leader.…
The time of the lone wolf is over. Gather yourselves! Banish the word “struggle” from your attitude and your vocabulary. All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.
We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.
Howard Zinn also offers advice on how to do this in his response to the question, “You ask how I manage to stay involved and remain seemingly happy and adjusted to this awful world where the efforts of caring people pale in comparison to those who have power?”
One (or more) wish(es): May we stay tender and strong. May we maintain our sense of humor and allow for joy. May we keep our hearts open. May we act from love. May we protect those in need of help from whatever harm comes their way. May we continue to love our neighbors, no matter how hard they make it. May we maintain our sanity in the face of madness, and offer our wisdom and compassion to a world that needs more of both. May we ease suffering — in ourselves and in the world. May we never ever give up.

Those flags… Don’t you feel like, on some level, the need for people to purchase and display there HUGE flags like that is some weird kind of over-compensation for.. something. I mean, he’s just some guy. It’s like crazy hero-worship. Cult-like. Creepy. Blatant and in your face, and to what end? To feel like they’re part of the winning team? Especially the F your feelings flag. I mean, you have to be really gross to be a grown-ass adult flaunting such nastiness due all the world to see. I’m so sorry you have to see that every day. 😔
PS I feel the same about the grief.
It reminds me too of the way some people can get when their team wins the superbowl, feel like “they” actually won or accomplished something. Luckily (and I’m not sure exactly what happened) they took the “f your feelings” flag down the next day, but the other one is still there. And even though the other one is gone, the shadow of it is still there for me. Hang in there, we’ve got four years of absolute chaos and a lifetime of repair we’ll need to do after. 🥴🤕❤
I am so sorry you have to look out your window to hate. That sign on the left–that’s hateful. And to live with the cognitive dissonance it must create. I have been feeling a bit like I’m trapped in an episode of The Twilight Zone, where I can’t trust anything I see. And I want to resist that, because I know that’s what the authoritarians want. It’s what they need. I want to find ways to stay grounded in truth and connected to others who are. Thank you for being here, sharing yours.
I just keep returning to the belief that there are still so many of us who care, who can be kind and loving and generous still, who work to cultivate wisdom and compassion in every facet of our lives, and that is something that can’t be broken. They can break our hearts and bodies, but not our spirits. That’s what I’m hanging on to, that we’ll continue to make “good trouble” and take care of each other, no matter what happens. Hang in there, and I’m so glad you are “here.” 🤕❤
Ugh on those signs, especially the first one – what it says underneath. Real classy. We have neighbors down the street with a huge Trump flag flying from their house. I had talked to the young woman who lives there one time and she was super nice. Had no idea (until now) that she was a Trumper. Now I have no desire to talk to her again. I’m still not comprehending how anyone can support him.
What’s weird to me is there are at least five houses in our general area that had NO flags or signs or any indication that’s where they stood until AFTER the election results. And as much as it bothers me to see those flags, part of me is glad they’ve identified themselves. Blergh…
I totally get what you’re saying—it feels a lot like 2020 when the pandemic first hit. There’s this layer of grief on top of grief, and it’s overwhelming. I also feel so anxious about the state of our country right now…
I’m so sorry about your neighbors. I can’t imagine having to look at that outside my window. Sending you so much love.
Thank you, Kari ❤