We are so achievement-oriented that we often surge right by the true value of relating to what’s before us, because we think that accomplishing things will complete us, when it is experiencing life that will.
~Mark Nepo, The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have
1. Truth: I have goals and make plans, and then life happens. I wish I was more accepting of this, met this truth with more grace and flexibility. Instead, I typically initially feel frustration, disappointment, and self-pity. I find myself asking “what if the things I dream of having and doing, the person I hope to be, the effort I’ve put into this ‘project’ that is my life is never realized, never manifests?” The past six years, in particular, have presented obstacle after obstacle, so many detours, so much starting over, beginning again — or at least that’s what it has felt like.
2. Truth: My only real option is to “go with the flow.” Life is going to keep happening. There will always be things I can’t know, understand, or control, causes and conditions that are simply out of my hands. All I can do is meet what arises, what is in this moment, as my whole authentic self. Be self-aware, pay attention with curiosity and without judgment, keep showing up, keep trying, keep my heart open and stay tender, trust myself. And, hopefully, maintain my sense of humor.
3. Truth: They don’t really matter, these little goals and plans of mine. I know that could sound like the bad news but it can also be good, a huge relief. The losses I’ve experienced and the chaos I’ve witnessed in the world have made me realize that accomplishing and striving and having and producing and succeeding (whatever that even means) ultimately have no meaning. In the end, it’s all empty. There is no there, there, and the cake is a lie. All that matters is easing suffering, in myself and in the world, in the ways that I’m able while also forgiving myself for the ways I can’t.
One wish: May we gently put down our agenda and with purpose pass through the portal into the mystery, surrendering to it without resistance or regret.
1. Heart advice from Pema Chödrön: “For us, as people sitting here meditating, as people wanting to live a good, full, unrestricted, adventurous, real kind of life, there is concrete instruction that we can follow, which is the one that we have been following all along in meditation: see what is. Acknowledge it without judging it as right or wrong. Let it go and come back to the present moment. Whatever comes up, see what is without calling it right or wrong. Acknowledge it. See it clearly without judgment and let it go. Come back to the present moment. From now until the moment of your death, you could do this.”
2. Good stuff from Lion’s Roar: A More Present Life Starts Now (“Life and practice don’t need to be separate, writes Emily Horn. She shares how we can integrate moments of meditation into the routine experiences of our every day lives”), and How to Practice Bearing Witness (“A three-step practice to connect with and serve those who are suffering”), and What I Wish I’d Known When I Met My First Spiritual Teacher (“Scott Edelstein, author of ‘The User’s Guide to Spiritual Teachers,’ shares 19 points to consider when beginning to engage with a teacher on the dharma path), and Loving-Kindness for All Beings & All Bodies (“Metta meditation is healing and heart-opening. Arisika Razak leads us through the practice”), and Silent Illumination: The Method of No-Method (“The practice is to be fully here, with this body and mind, in this space. Rebecca Li on silent illumination”).
3. The Anti-Airbnb-Spaceon Culture Study. “When people talk about warmth, or comfort, or coziness, they’re not actually talking about blankets or fires or throw pillows. They’re talking about the undeniable, absolutely irresistible evidence that a place is beloved. That feeling has no defined aesthetic. It resists trends and appears at all price points. An algorithm can’t sense it. It often doesn’t come across in photos. But that feeling, the feeling I have in this space right now, writing on this window seat? It feels like a home. Maybe not my own. But someone’s.”
4. Reading recommendations from Robert Jones, Jr. A list of books and online articles from the authors of one of my favorite quotes (“We can disagree and still love each other, unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist”) and one of my favorite novels (The Prophets).
6. The Power of Living from Essencefrom Julie Colwell. “Here’s my 2024 challenge for you: Would you be willing for relationship to be the vehicle for your own smelting, extraction, purification? If so, there are very specific steps you can take. These aren’t one-and-done; if you’re going to bring all of your golden being out for us to see, well, get ready to jump into an ongoing process of letting your old defense be (hopefully, gently) crushed. But your baby self is in there. Waiting to be seen, heard, known, and yes, even cherished.”
7. NearbyWiki.org. “Explore interesting places nearby listed on Wikipedia.” This was fun to look at in terms of where I live, but I think it could also be useful when traveling.
11. New Eyes, a poem from Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer.
“And I felt myself open, naked as a winter tree, tender as a woman just learning to see how everything invites us to meet what is holy.”
12. Niching upfrom Seth Godin. I love this perspective, “To niche up, identify the smallest group of people that would be enough to sustain the project. That group, the group you get to choose, what do they have in common? What do they want?”
13. In the Flow or Out of Syncfrom Jena Schwartz. “We make things and we unmake things. We discover things and we lose the plot, lose the keys, and sometimes we even lose our minds. We get glimpses of something exquisite, even divine, when we hear a baby laughing or see a murmuration of starlings carving shapes into sky. Our bodies become emblems of the most stunning systems and also the most excruciating breakdowns. Growth and decay, regulation and disregulation, harmony and dissonance. It’s all part of it.”
16. We expect the art. What shows up is a human. from Patti Digh. “Let us keep the art on whatever pedestal we need for it and let the humans who created it remain on solid ground, just like us. The humans we can hold accountable for their actions, yes. But perhaps with a modicum of understanding of how very hard it is to be fully human.” This is most likely always going to be a dilemma for me, one that never gets solved: Can we still love and honor the art when the artist is utterly unlovable?
19. An Exciting Time: On the Tension Between Making Art and Sharing It. “There’s a crucial difference between the need to be paid attention to and the desire to connect—it’s the difference between trying to one-up someone else’s story and telling one of your own to commiserate, to empathize; between saying Look at me, everybody and You’re not the only one.” In related news, Everyone’s a sellout now. “So you want to be an artist. Do you have to start a TikTok?”
22. How to Be More Present in Your Daily Life. “Think about this: we often get lost in memories or worry about what’s next. But the secret to really living, to really feeling alive, is being totally in the moment, right now. Imagine not missing out on the little joys and the big moments because you’re really there, not lost in your head. This article is all about why being in the now matters and how you can do it.”
24. CrashCourseon YouTube. “At Crash Course, we believe that high-quality educational videos should be available to everyone for free! The Crash Course team has produced more than 45 courses on a wide variety of subjects, including organic chemistry, literature, world history, biology, philosophy, theater, ecology, and many more!”
25. Phoebe Waller-Bridge on Her “Surreal” Journey From Fleabag to Indiana Joneson Vanity Fair. In the article, she says of acting school, “I just got really scared of getting it wrong. I’d always thought that the whole point was to kind of get it so wrong that it ends up being original…I think that’s basically what my career has been attempting: Just keep getting it wrong until it’s original.” I utterly adore her.
26. Meet Our Poet Laureate Rosemerry Wahtola Trommerfrom Evermore, “dedicated to making the world a more livable place for bereaved people. We are changing policies and practices within our communities — and across our nation — so that all bereaved individuals can achieve a healthy, prosperous, and equitable future.”
27. Hard Seasons and Wild Heartsfrom Brené Brown. “People are hard but, damn — there are so many folks doing such amazing awkward, brave, and kind things in the world. If you pay attention, it’s enough to make your heart go wild.”
29. Kate Yeager Is in Her Vulnerable Era. “Her upcoming EP explores ‘love and self-discovery,’ and today, she’s dropping ‘Fat,’ a slow-burning single that digs into body image, self-acceptance and the formative experiences that shape our view of ourselves. The New York-born, Nashville-based singer-songwriter describes her upcoming releases as ‘a whole lot of light with a whole lot of bite,’ pointing to her pop meets Country crooner sensibilities.”
31. Distracted By The Dopamine Slot Machineon Sluggish, “dopamine dispatch #5: “digital fentanyl,” technology panic, and what’s really wrong with the internet.”
32. Butterfly, Flying Home & the poet Monica Rico on superheroes and song lyrics on The Isolation Journals with Suleika Jaouad.
36. Sounds True Podcast | Chip Conley: Midlife: From Crisis to Chrysalis. “Tune in for a very honest and hope-giving podcast on: The phoenix phenomenon; the anatomy of transition; the metaphor of the chrysalis; cultivating a growth mindset; the components of high ‘TQ’ (or transitional IQ); creating space for something new; the great midlife edit; the dark night of the ego; radically shifting how you want to live your life; vulnerability and accepting help; ‘dancing backwards in high heels’; developing a friendship with your body; letting go—but also welcoming in; the alchemy of curiosity and wisdom; goosebumps as a sign you’re on the right path; and more.”
43. Grief is hard. Not talking about it makes it even harder. from Elizabeth Kleinfeld. “I miss my husband every day. Being able to open up about the pain of losing him helps me remember the best of who he was and who we were together.”
Open Space Practice, (AKA: A Thousand Shades of Gray) 