This is it

This morning, I’ll pick up my rental car and drive to Portland for the World Domination Summit, but first I’ll walk on the beach with my boys. When I was packing yesterday, Dexter was worried. I’m not sure if his anxiety was because he knew I was leaving or he thought he was going to have to get back in the car for two days for the trip back to Colorado.

When I first bought my ticket to this event, I wasn’t clear about why or what it was or what it would mean, I just knew I had to go, that something about it seemed right, auspicious. I decided to start blogging because I didn’t want to show up with nothing, told myself that I needed to write, to publish consistently, at least for the nine months leading up to the Summit. And it totally worked, broke through the writer’s block that I’d struggled with for 25+ years. And I took classes from, met people connected to the conference that now I get to meet in person, thank and tell how much I adore them, how much their work has encouraged and helped me.

The most magic thing is that I plan to show up, be present and be exactly who I am, all my messy and stinky and brilliant bits. And I think there’s a real chance I’ll be able to maintain that perspective, to self-care, to connect, to risk being vulnerable, to be brave and open-hearted, to have a great time but also know that in the context of my whole, full life, it’s only one great moment in a string of such moments–no big deal.

Kind and gentle reader, I hope to continue posting while away, but I’m not making any promises. I just don’t know how busy or tired I’ll be, or how good my internet connection will be. If for some reason, I don’t post or what I do post is quick and dirty, I promise to come back and tell you all about it when it’s done. But, I will miss you, because what I also realize is that even though this blog started as a project “for” WDS, it has become something that you and I share, and in that way, it’s so much more important.

Independence Day

full moon over alsea bay last night

We watched the fireworks last night over Alsea Bay and under a full moon. Here in Waldport, they do their fireworks display on July 3rd. It was cold and the air was thick with the smoke from fireworks and campfires, but I was wrapped in a blanket and with people I love.

I may not always allow myself to feel free, but I know that independence is possible, and that I am lucky to live in a place where it’s even easy. And I am encouraged to know that there are other people who want to do good, want all beings to be free from suffering, want to serve others and change things–there will be 1000 of us at the World Domination Summit this weekend. I am excited and nervous, but am comforted by this wisdom from Jen Vertanen, “The people attending WDS are my people ~ they just haven’t met me yet.”

On this 4th of July, I am contemplating the reality of experience, that even though things come together and fall apart, change is constant and we are mortal, there is basic goodness, compassion and wisdom, and freedom is possible.

image by Bill Longshaw, from FreeDigitalPhotos.net

We already have everything we need. There is no need for self-improvement. All these trips that we lay on ourselves—the heavy-duty fearing that we’re bad and hoping that we’re good, the identities that we so dearly cling to, the rage, the jealousy and the addictions of all kinds—never touch our basic wealth. They are like clouds that temporarily block the sun. But all the time our warmth and brilliance are right here. This is who we really are. We are one blink of an eye away from being fully awake. ~Pema Chödrön