Category Archives: Confidence

Day of Rest

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I didn’t post yesterday because I was in Boulder attending the first day of a two day workshop with Brene’ Brown, The Power of Vulnerability. Brene’ is recording it to be made into a six cd set that will be released later in the year, and videos to be used in an upcoming class, but she wanted a live audience to talk to, rather than sitting in a sound booth talking to a microphone. It has been an amazing experience to be in the same room with her and other like-hearted people, interested in learning how to be vulnerable, in living and loving wholeheartedly. Brene’ is the best storyteller–wise, grounded, authentic, and so funny.

Just in case you haven’t seen her TED talks, I’m going to include them here. They are worth the time. The first one, along with her book The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, changed my life.

Brene’ talked yesterday about how we live in a culture of scarcity, constantly feeling “not ___________ enough” (fill in the blank: not good enough, not rich enough, not safe enough, etc.), and that our first thought in the morning is “I didn’t get enough sleep” and our last thought before falling asleep is “I didn’t get enough done.”

She also said that after a decade that included 9/11, war, and a troubled economy, “I think we’re tired of being afraid, of thinking and worrying about what we should fear and who we should blame.” This reminded me of a quote Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche shared last week that I’ve been contemplating:

Perhaps when we are finally fed up with torturing ourselves and others, out of our exhaustion will arise a pause in which we will collectively reflect upon our goodness.

sakyong mipham in tibet

I don’t know about you, kind and gentle reader, but I am certainly fed up with smashing myself to bits, tired of judging and blaming others, sick and tired of the whole thing. And even though Brene’ warned us yesterday that “those of us willing to show up and be seen will get our asses kicked,” I think I’ll take that alternative to being stuck, seemingly safe in my armor, disengaged and numb in my cocoon, and miserable.

Go ahead, life–kick my ass. I’m going to do what Susan Piver suggests, open my heart and show up with confidence, “the willingness to be as ridiculous, luminous, intelligent, and kind as you really are, without embarrassment.”

Wishcasting Wednesday

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from Jamie’s post

How do you wish to grow?

I’m sorry if I sound like a broken record, but it seems like every Wednesday Jamie asks a different wishcasting question, but my answer is always some version of the same thing…

I wish to grow:

Equanimity. Mental calmness, emotional stability, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation or under stress; a calm, positive emotional balance in the face of both good fortune and bad. Having an equally open attitude to all sentient beings, free of attachment, anger, and apathy. I can be judgmental, critical, and unforgiving. For example, today there was an older, stinky, potentially homeless man working out at my gym, and my animal self was getting so irritated with him, with the situation. My higher self whispered that I shouldn’t judge, knew nothing about his circumstances, and that it really wasn’t that much of a hardship for me to accept his presence, that maybe I was irritating him. I wish to respond with my higher self, to practice equanimity, forgiveness, non-judgment, to grow my heart.

Health. I wish to manifest health through rest and exercise and good food in appropriate amounts, but also through sanity, self-love and self-care. I want people to feel the energy of wellness radiating from me, to feel healthier themselves just by being near me.

Creative arts practice. This wish includes a wide range of art: music, painting, photography, lettering, acting, collaging, quilting, sewing. I wish to learn to play the ukulele, take singing lessons, be in a play, create paintings, make art using collage and lettering, start a tshirt shop, create and perform.

Spiritual practice. I wish to deepen my meditation and yoga practices, with the intention of one day training to instruct and teach, to share those important practices with others who might benefit as I have. To continue to go further with my writing, showing up honest, open and raw, and communicating the truth, using right speech. And dog, to continue to learn how to be a better companion, a more effective caretaker.

Confidence and bravery. To grow my confidence, in part in the way that Susan Piver suggests: “Confidence is the willingness to be as ridiculous, luminous, intelligent, and kind as you really are, without embarrassment.” And also, knowing my own power, being certain of my basic goodness, my “enoughness,” and thus being brave and willing to face reality, just as it is, and to work with it.

Financial stability. This is solid now, but from that base, I’d like to continue to grow, to streamline and clarify my practices, spending and saving, to have a clear sense of the full situation, of my debt, insurance, retirement, to simplify but also invite abundance and joy.

Web design skills. This is another practical area I’d like to grow, my skills as a designer and coder, my ability to design graphics and construct layouts and code structures. There’s a lot this would enable me to do, it would foster an independence, a freedom that I long for.

Home making. I wish to continue to refine and rehabilitate the space and structure where I live, declutter and clean it, repair it, landscape and beautify. Last week’s wishcasting was all about this process, this growth.

Love. There can never be enough, and it is the answer to every question, so I wish to grow this until it fills the whole universe.