Gratitude

1. Morning walks. I thought it was another week where we walked mostly in the dark and I didn’t take many pictures. Then I started editing and loading my pictures from this past week and realized there were a lot! We saw some critters in the dark but it was only eyes so I’m not sure what sort they were exactly, and we heard a few owls. Eric and Ringo have been seeing lots of raccoons and skunks. There’s a heron who fishes at the same spot on the river and I keep trying to sneak up on it but it must hear us because every time it flies away before I get close enough for a good look, let alone a picture. 

2. Practice. I’ve been reading my journal from this time last year each morning when I sit down to write. I’m so grateful to my past self for taking the time to sit down every day and report, consider, contemplate the moments I was living then. As I prepare to go back to spend that same week and a half in Oregon, one year later, I’m longing for the tiniest bit of closure, a clearing, some space to remember and come home to myself.

This week, my wild writing group met after taking a month off. I was SO happy to see all their faces, to write and share with them, to catch up. When things with my mom settle a bit, I’d love to start hosting some classes around that practice — anyone interested in something like that?

3. Caregiver resources. This is one thing the internet can do: provide encouragement, make information accessible, and cultivate community around very specific topics. You still have to live it, put in the effort yourself, but the support provided helps so much as you try to navigate a new to you experience. It was true for me when my dad was dying and in home hospice care, and it’s true now as Mom’s cognition and mobility enters a new stage and we try to put together a more sustainable long term plan for her. This is so hard, y’all…

4. Cancelled plans. I’m not sure if this was a case of cancelled plans, but what I thought was going to happen, didn’t. Our neighbor behind us called over the fence a few weeks ago to let me know someone would be coming on Monday to cut down two of the boxelder maples in their yard, along our back fence. They aren’t the nicest trees in general, but they provide such nice shade in our backyard in the late afternoon and evening. I’m sad anytime a tree gets cut down, but especially when it means an increase of “global warming” in my own backyard. I took “before” pictures in the morning but never needed to take any “after” because the tree guys came and trimmed one of the trees you can’t even really see from our yard, but didn’t cut anything else down. Yay!

5. My tiny family, small house, little life. I’m starting to get a little anxious about being gone, being without my central support system while I’m in Oregon doing hard things, but I’m going to be that much more grateful for them when I get back.

Bonus joy: Peaches, naps, training with Shelby and the gang, the hydromassage chair, the sauna, breakfast burritos, new recipes to try, clean laundry, a warm shower, a big glass of cold clean water, lunch at Mount Everest Cafe’ with Eric, vaccines, gummies, books from the library, photo magnets, other people’s dogs, haircut transformation videos, unlikely friendships between different sorts of animals, kids birthday parties, cheese, cake, spiders, dog paws, comedy, dark chocolate covered almonds, the ability to walk and hear and see, listening to podcasts, seeing how much Ringo loves Teri, massage, reading in bed at night while Ringo and Eric sleep.

5 thoughts on “Gratitude

  1. Lucille's avatarLucille

    I didn’t realize you were dealing with aging parents… so am I. It IS hard. Grueling. Sad. I wish there were better resources…

    Reply
    1. jillsalahub's avatarjillsalahub Post author

      It’s so strange — you kind of know that at some point you may have to help your parents as they get older, but no matter when it happens, it seems too soon and so hard! My brother was saying they need to teach a class in high school or something, as so many people arrive at the moment utterly unprepared. Sending you so much love as you navigate this moment in your life. ❤

      Reply
  2. Kari's avatarWriter McWriterson

    Your pictures are always so beautiful.

    If you’re offering virtual classes, I am definitely down. I would love to be part of something like that.

    I totally understand not being near your support system. ❤️

    Reply

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