Monthly Archives: September 2011

And me, I have no idea.

I am so lucky to be alive at the same moment in time as so many amazing and talented and loving and giving women.  Danielle is one of them.

I am not writing these things to be difficult,
I am just trying to find what I’m searching for.
I am not writing these things to be difficult,
I am just giving them up as an offering.

Chakrasana: Wheel Pose

One of my current favorite yoga poses is chakrasana, or wheel pose, sometimes also called upward or raised bow pose.

If I am feeling depressed, I can go into this pose and find relief. This pose causes an opening, a stretch, a clearing of space in my solar plexis, the spot above my belly button, but below my heart, or what’s known as the manipura chakra, our power center. The psychological functions associated with this chakra are personal power, will, knowledge, wit, laughter, mental clarity, humor, optimism, self-control, curiosity, and awareness; the emotions are purpose and sunshine, (http://www.chakraenergy.com/chart.html).

I was told once by a writing teacher that this is the spot where you find truth, somewhere between your heart and your stomach.  I find that this is the place where I can tap into my intuition.  In my Mondo Beyondo class, we were asked to consider a time when we listened to this wisdom and it “totally paid off.”

Now.  Right now.  And here.  It was intuition, the flutter of butterflies in my stomach so powerful it lifted me on to my toes, that brought me right into this very moment.

I stand firmly planted on my two bare feet.  My yoga mat has a hole in it, but don’t think it’s because I am sloppy or don’t take care of my things.  My dog Obi, who I lost to cancer almost two years ago, chewed this hole in my yoga mat when he was just a puppy, before he understood what the mat meant.  He’d later learn that it meant time to curl up and watch, or to join in with a few downward dogs of his own.  But at that earlier moment, it just looked like a big purple chew toy.

Yoga Feet

I listened to my intuition about my yoga practice.  One day, I was the only one who showed up for my Monday morning, 6:30 a.m. class, so I got a private session with Niight Wind.  I had been practicing yoga for almost four years at the time, but when Niight asked me to set an intention at the beginning of class, and “be here, be brave” floated up from that spot in my solar plexis, my whole yoga practice changed.  I am here, and I am learning to love myself because I listened to my own intention, and because a wonderful teacher invited me, opened up the space and offered her support.

I listened to my intuition when I made decisions on Obi’s behalf in terms of his cancer treatment: to try chemo, to stop chemo, and ultimately to let him go.  I would stare into his big brown eyes, and listen to that center of truth in my own body, and I would do what I knew was right, even as it broke my heart into a million tiny pieces.
Brown Eyes

I listened to my intuition over the past nine months when I joined an Artist’s Way Group, signed up for a series of Creative Non-Fiction Writing workshops, formed a writing group, read “Gifts of Imperfection,” read Superhero Journal and Jen Lemen’s blog and zenhabits.net and “The Art of Non-Conformity” and Everyday Bright, bought a ticket to the World Domination Summit, signed up for Mondo Beyondo and Superhero Photo classes, signed up for the Ordinary Courage class, started a blog, started writing and wishing and dreaming and daring to believe I might be worth it.

My own two feet

My own two feet

I listened to my intuition and offered the ideas, shared the kind word, felt the fear and did it anyway.

  • Be here, now.  Be brave.